Considering other countries

I’m feeling antsy. I guess it’s primarily because of my job and my not-so-great relationships with the other teachers at my junior high school, but also I’m feeling the pressure of getting a more permanent position. But really, would it be bad if I never got a permanent position? I know a few older adults who have continued to work at a language school or moved up to teacher trainer. Only a few of them have family though, as far as I know. It would be nice to be in a job which would have transferrable skills should I ever decide to move back to the US.

Yesterday I mentioned to Hideshima-sensei that I might go to Morocco after I finish teaching in Japan. She said that it was a shame, and that I should look for jobs in private elementary schools in Japan, especially in Tokyo. I’m not sure I could live in Tokyo, but I have invested quite a bit in Japan. The language is my biggest investment that I wouldn’t be able to recover anywhere else. There’s also my bike and my camping gear which is probably about $900 altogether. I could probably keep some of the gear and I should be able to get some money by selling my bike. Thinking back though, I probably spent close to that on my piano in Russia, and I abandoned it without even getting money, and enjoyed it for less time than I’ve had my bike. Oh, I’ve also bought that violin here. I think I would take that with me, though.

What else is keeping me here? I do like the hours in principle, but on the other hand they’re better for social activities than productivity, and right now I’m managing neither. In fact, I wonder if part of the reason I feel so unmotivated is because I don’t have time to study or do things in the morning. At Narakawa and even at Kikyo, I usually had time to study Japanese and programming. I don’t have any complaints about the company, aside from my salary. But this paragraph is moot, because I don’t plan to continue this job next year no matter what.

My options in Japan are: a programming job, a teaching job, or some other job that I probably won’t know anything about. As I’ve written before, I like the idea of the programming job, but I find it difficult to motivate myself to produce anything, and without a respectable degree or a portfolio I would be suspicious of anyone who would hire me. Plus I’m out of practice and I don’t seem to want to get back into practice.

I guess it comes down to this question—do I want to expand my job possibilities outside of Japan? If I did so, I would likely be going back to private language school hours and responsibilities. Can I do that? If so, why wouldn’t I do that in Japan? My immediate response is because of the wage ceiling—unless I become a business owner, language school teachers and ALTs only make a bit more than I make now. However, it’s quite likely that I would make less in just about anywhere else in the world that I could easily find a job.

In the past, my main complaint with language schools has been the lack of continuity and community. I really don’t see a way around this, but my thought is that if I hop from one country to another quickly enough, I’ll be so interested in the novelty that I won’t be too bothered. And maybe someday I’ll find a way or a reason to break the loop. One problem with this is that I will be isolating myself even further than I already am. I will be consigning myself to a wandering life, despite preferring the comforts of home. I’ll think about it some more.