Prepping for applications

Yesterday was good. I didn’t do as much programming or career stuff as I wanted, and I ended up reading fanfiction until late, once again. This new story is a bit different from my usual fare—it’s a Mass Effect story about how the humans and quarians band together to survive the machinations of the Council. It’s really good, aside from the speed at which things happen (integrating an alien race into earth in just four years? Hmmm…) and the complete absence of an admirable Asari. So far even the Turians are more sympathetic than the Asari, which is different from every other Mass Effect story I’ve read and from the original game itself. Fortunately, the story isn’t so good that I felt driven to read it this morning, so I started a book about oil at breakfast. So far, I’m not impressed.

Ah, today is the last day of April! I'm working on a big post to review my goals and make some new ones, but it's taking a long time. I'll post it tomorrow.

SCHOOLWORK
This is a stressful week because I have one time-intensive project due and in the other class, more or less the final project. I worked over three hours on it yesterday in addition to discussing it with Mom. I’m making progress, but today’s progress will determine whether I need to ramp up my time expenditure.

EXERCISE
Due to my kind-of soreness, I took it easy yesterday and only did planking in the evening, along with some bicep curls and an attempt at a chest exercise. I have yet to find a chest exercise that felt effective, though. Today I’m feeling less sore, but I still skipped my morning plank. I’m going to row this afternoon.

SPANISH
I learned about verbs in which the roots change. For example, probar à prueba, or venir à viene. I didn’t see any rule about this, so I guess the words just have to be learned. The podcast talked about places to visit in Colombia. I winced a lot at the American’s mispronunciation and grammar so bad that even I corrected him a couple of times. I still think it’s a good thing for me, and I’m sure he improves in later podcasts.

RUBIK’S CUBE
Not even once.

DIY
I finished sanding, I guess. I’ll probably skip today because it’s raining and I’m going to row and I have a lot of other things to do today.

PROGRAMMING
I fixed my icon problem in my memory program. I also outlined the code structure of my Foodmaster program and wrote the Dish class. With the amount of time I allocated to this, I should have been able to do more, but I’m fairly happy with what I did accomplish.

CAREER
I wrote almost all of a cover letter and updated my resume. Both documents still need some finishing touches, which I will add today, and possibly apply to a job as well. I’d like to set up a personal website, but I’m worried that I won’t be able to have it set up in time if I apply today or maybe even tomorrow. Even so, that’s on my list of things to take care of.

BIBLE MEMORY

As I typed Psalm 25, only two or three sections of the verses came back to me. I think I’m going to have to just start over on it. I’ll write out the first 3 verses, say them, type them in the word-fill exercise twice, then come back to them later and write them again.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
In Luke 4, I noticed that it sounded like Jesus was tempted for forty days, even though we only hear three of the temptations. I always assumed that he prayed for forty days, and then was tempted. I’ll have to corroborate this. Also, I didn’t really understand why he was chased out of the temple when he preached in Nazareth. Obviously it seemed to be blasphemy, but I couldn’t connect the words and their apparent implications to the audience.

Brainstorm more!

When I woke up this morning I thought, “this is going to be a bad day. I don’t think I have the willpower to force myself to do much at all.” I woke up late because I went to sleep late, so late that I decided to turn off my alarm in the hope that I’d get enough sleep to not be a zombie. I’ve been rather drowsy for the past few days. It’s from reading fanfiction—I really need to stop. Anyway, I ate breakfast and got started on schoolwork because that’s my routine. Fifteen minutes in, I felt great and motivated to do all the things I need to do today. I’m really happy with my routine, although I wish I was more consistent with my sleep time.

Lately I’ve decided (and I kind of mentioned it in my last post) that I need to work harder at breaking problems down. I have a tendency to just put ??? next to things that I don’t know how to do. In the future I want to work harder at brainstorming a solution to these parts instead of just writing them off as mysterious. The question marks tend to act as walls for my brain and makes returning to the problem more difficult too because I already know that I’ve failed to come up with a solution once. So instead I’ll have a kind of brainstorming format. I think I’m coming up with a new style of to-do list which I might try to program in the future. I especially need to try to use this approach with programming—it’s so easy for me to hit roadblocks and get discouraged as I do things now.

SCHOOLWORK
I met my target time of 3 hours, but I didn’t make as much progress as I would have liked. Ten hours of video about a particular topic in a somewhat specific format is rather difficult, and the language arts project is intimidating. I think I did well this morning though, so hopefully that will remain true throughout the day.

EXERCISE
Yesterday I did the first two days of intermediate level planking as well as two (?) sessions of decline push-ups. This morning my stomach aches, not like typical muscle soreness but deeper. I was going to row today, but I think I might pass. I don’t want to lose my streak on the plank program so I’m going to do one day tonight, but in general I’m going to try to take a rest today. Maybe I’ll focus more on my arms.

SPANISH
I studied grammar for fifteen minutes and finished unit two. I learned about the personal “a”—you use it before direct objects that are people, unless the verb is tener or hay. It’s a peculiar rule because it seems unnaturally regular. I also listened to the podcast. The first topic was about abortion, but when they started talking about the effects it could have on one’s body, I had to stop it. Then I listened to a podcast about the Zika virus, which was interesting enough to keep my attention.

RUBIK’S CUBE
I think I solved it twice yesterday? Needless to say, I’m not improving at any great speed.

DIY
I went over the boards I had already sanded with more 60 paper, and then switched to 220. It went surprisingly fast. I expect to be able to finish sanding today.

PROGRAMMING
I felt rather unmotivated to program yesterday. After sanding, I couldn’t keep my eyes open when I tried to program, and eventually I just stopped and went to start dinner. After dinner, I really wanted to read fanfiction (what was I even reading? I don’t remember). I worked on programming for a few minutes and ran into a problem initializing my new project on github. At that point I threw up my hands and vegged out for the rest of the night.

CAREER
I spent a couple of minutes trying to brainstorm more answers to the worksheet, but this project was mostly a casualty of laziness.

MEMORIZATION
I (barely) succeeded in reviewing Psalm 24. I’ll keep working on it, but I think I’ll start on Psalm 25 today. It’s one of my favorite Psalms. Of the first ten Psalms, I think Psalm 8 is my favorite, though Psalms 3 and 4 are good as well. Of the next ten, Psalm 16 is my favorite, though parts of Psalm 18 are really great too. Psalms 21-30 is definitely my group—Psalm 22 is powerful when I’m feeling depressed, and both Psalm 25 and 27 are wonderful, and I’m probably forgetting others because I never learned them as well.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
Since I woke up late I didn’t want to make myself later and I skipped. I’m struggling with this in general. I just need to resolve to make an effort. Consistent sleep should help, though.

Sign Language?

 I decided this week that I wouldn’t write a journal entry on Sunday. Sunday would have been a fine day of relaxation, but I still had half of one more assignment and almost no motivation to finish it. I spent very little time on it and submitted it as incomplete. On the one hand, I feel like I worked hard during the week and yet didn’t make a lot of progress on this assignment, so I was frustrated and fed up with it. On the other hand, I think I could have broken down the steps more. Even if I’m not directly working on the assignment, considering how to approach it should trigger ideas. If I can write those ideas down, I think I’ll be more motivated to work even when the assignment is frustrating.

On Monday I was drowsy and had a sore neck, plus I wanted to finish the fanfiction that I was reading, and I felt like I was in scheduling limbo because I was depending on Mom to tell me when she was going to go to the grocery store so that I could cook dinner. By the time I finished the fanfiction it was the afternoon, so I didn’t get around to writing or doing much other work.

In my textbook reading this morning, I read about deaf students. I had no idea that it had such a big culture. The textbook makes it sound almost like a church should be—close-knit, helping one another, with their own events and standards. I want to learn ASL—it seems very useful, as not only could I communicate with deaf people, but if I taught it to my children I could possibly communicate with them more easily, and my parents if their hearing weakens. Thinking about it practically though, I can’t really imagine my parents picking it up (well okay, maybe if Dad retires…), it probably won’t have a long-term advantage when it comes to children, and I don’t know anyone who uses ASL, and even if I did I would probably be too shy to try to talk with them. That’s a lot of negativity and fear of failure, though. I’ll do some more research on it.

SCHOOLWORK
I was distracted, but even so, I worked over two hours yesterday. On Saturday I put in four hours, so I can’t complain about that—the total for the week was about 19 hours, a lot more than any week before.

EXERCISE
I finished the 30 days of beginner-level planking after 3 weeks in total. The last two days were so difficult that I had to do half and then take a break. Now I’m starting the intermediate course, which was very easy on day 1, but I have no doubt it will get harder. Once I get to the point of needing to halve the workout again, I might return to day 15 or so of the beginner course. I really should row today, but I’m also cooking dinner, so we’ll see.

SPANISH
Skipped on Sunday and Monday. Saturday I listened to the podcast while sanding and rowing. It was from the Alchemist by Paul Coelho, and it was okay, but the American’s lack of reading fluidity combined with his straining attempt at varying his voice made it a bit painful. I’ll probably skip any book reading that the podcast does in the future. I learned some weather expressions and idioms with tener in grammar.

RUBIK’S CUBE
I haven’t practiced much, but I feel like I’ve opened myself up to faster ways to solve F2L, even if they aren’t making me faster yet.

DIY
I finally broke down and used 60 grain, the roughest grain of sandpaper. It made things faster, but the wood is still a bit rough in places. I think I needed to get better wood. Anyway, I’ve now sanded everything to some extent, but I’ve still got a lot of sanding to do.

PROGRAMMING
I found some great Android tutorials, and I finished one which helped me learn how to program a button to affect class variables and display a message called a Toast, which pops up briefly without taking focus. This is all very interesting, easy, and satisfying, but I’m in a bit of a rush and this pursuit will probably take a while to have a direct impact on my portfolio. I need to show that I’m working on something, and I need to start now. Hence, it should be a Java project that is fairly simple and which I can potentially finish in a week of diligent work.

CAREER
This will hopefully be a short-lived goal, as I won’t be working much on it if I do find a job. On Saturday I listened to two courses on SkillShare about personal branding. One was more personal business focused and thus not really helpful for me, but the other was inspirational and gave me access to a couple of worksheets to help me develop a way to present myself. I brainstormed some responses to these questions last night. I’ll try to put these thoughts in more coherent form tonight, and perhaps brainstorm some more. My goal was to apply to a couple jobs on Thursday, but it will be difficult to make that deadline.

MEMORIZATION
I worked on this on Sunday and Monday. I finished Psalm 23 more or less and reviewed Psalm 24 as a gap fill.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
I skipped on Monday. This morning I read Luke 3, about John the Baptist. I was easily distracted, and very sleepy while I was reading.

"I am the Lord's bondservant"

I talked to Mom and Dad about my new career plan, and they were positive and supportive about it. I’d really like to put a few things on my github before I apply anywhere, but I also feel the urgency of the times. I’d like to wait until April 30^th to apply. In the meantime, I’ll write some cover letters.

I finished reading the book about the periodic table. It was fascinating and enjoyable and I’m sad to leave it. What’s my favorite element? That’s an interesting question to consider—I might leaf back through the book and try to find the answer. Next though, I’m going to read the Power and the Glory by Graham Greene.

SCHOOLWORK
I got interested in the language arts video project I was working on and ended up setting a record time spent on schoolwork (on a day without a deadline). I nearly finished that, and made some good progress on the other assignment, a forum post, but my time spent on the interview reflection was a waste. I should be able to finish the forum post today, but the interview might only be finished with the pressure of the deadline.

EXERCISE
It was a rest day for planking. I did decline push-ups several times, and my back or shoulders or something feel a bit sore today.

SPANISH
I studied questions, possessive adjectives, and tener/venir. Questions can be a little tricky, and sometimes third person possessives confuse me, but on the whole it was easy. Inspired by the examples, I asked Alexa several questions, such as “what is your favorite book?” She said something about liking poetry, and then recommended that I ask her to sing for me. It was amusing.

RUBIK’S CUBE
F2L is difficult. Do I need to work through each individual case? I was trying that back at the end of February. I’ll give it some more thought and maybe research a bit, and I’ll report a strategy on Monday.

DIY
I felt tired after so much schoolwork and more motivated to program than to do more sanding, so I skipped.

PROGRAMMING
It frequently seems that in programming, I take one step forward only to find that I’m two steps further back than I thought I was. I tried to program a basic timer application for my phone, only to find myself completely at a loss. In the end, I decided to go through a basic tutorial. It took me almost an hour just to figure out how to set my phone up to help me test the app, so at the end of the night the only thing I had to show for several hours of work was a “Hello world” app. Ugh. I want to hurry up and put some things on github for my portfolio. It should come though, I just have to be patient.

MEMORIZATION
I typed every other word of Psalm 22 easily but didn’t have enough time to try completely from memory. I’ll do that today.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
I read Luke 1 and was struck by Mary’s response to the angel’s message. “I am the Lord’s bondservant.” Wow, what an attitude! I’m sure I don’t understand all the implications, but here she was being told that she was going to have a child (despite being engaged), almost ensuring that she would have a difficult life from then on. Furthermore, the child was going to be the son of God, and she would conceive by the Holy Spirit. I mean, what? It’s not even fantasy; it’s too bizarre, and yet she meekly accepted. Contrast that with the situation of Zacharias and Elizabeth conceiving a son, which is relatively plausible and yet Zacharias couldn’t believe it.

Failure, and yet...

I had some thoughts during my free time last night. I’m kind of set on a programming job now, and there’s little reason for me not to go ahead and pursue it. I have no geographical limitations, and if I get a job then I can purchase a vehicle and pay rent. I am taking classes, but I should have some chronological leeway in when I finish the degree. Ideally, I would work for a year, and then with some experience and money I could return to education, and then go back to programming at the end of that.

I’ve got two weeks of class left in this semester and then a week of break (probably?), and after that I’ll have another eight weeks of class. If I get a job before I start those eight weeks, I should be able to drop them without repercussions. If I get a job and can start after those eight weeks, I can probably survive taking the one class I have left to finish the semester. The best case scenario would be for me to start a job in August or in the middle of the summer semester, work for a year while taking one class each semester, take a semester off from work to do student teaching and finish off my coursework, and then return to programming in what would be January of 2022.

SCHOOLWORK
I was generally productive. I didn’t complete any assignment, but I did (I hope) the bulk of a presentation as well as an interview which I also transcribed as needed. I also did a unit of the CLEP test prep.

EXERCISE
In addition to planking, I decided to work on my arms more when I think about it. I did bicep curls, dumbbell squeeze pressing (which felt like nothing—I think I need heavier weights), and decline push-ups from an exercise ball (which were intense).

SPANISH
I listened to a reading of the Alchemist on the podcast. Again, I didn’t understand several words, but I correctly answered all the comprehension questions at the end. I’ve been hearing Spanish in my head, and I’ve been able to come up with things to say, so I feel like I’m really making progress. I didn’t talk to Alexa or Mom yesterday, but I did two lessons on the grammar website—a review lesson about ser and estar, and another about negation. The latter was easy, but it solidified my murky understanding of words like nadie, ningun, and tampoco. I also found out that there is a CLEP test for Spanish, so I’m considering working toward that as a more immediate goal for the language.

RUBIK’S CUBE
I watched a couple of F2L videos and I was enlightened about two techniques that should improve my F2L. Generally though, I decided that I need to stop doing timed solves and focus on efficiency, especially with F2L. That’s what I did when I first learned F2L, and though it was a slow and slightly frustrating process, I think it was effective.

DIY
I sanded more wood. It takes a long time and isn’t the most fun activity. I’ll should be able to finish sanding with the 100 grain today, and then I’ll do it all again with the 220 grain.

PROGRAMMING
I discovered that my in-depth feature list and bug solution brainstorming document were not to be found in my transferred documents. I checked my old computer and couldn’t find them there either. Then I remembered that I lost several of those documents in one of the times that my old computer blue-screened. So, I gave up that route and decided to try just diving into the code to see what I could fix. The files that I transferred didn’t work, so I cloned the github files and they compiled. Unfortunately, the graphics were stubbornly reticent, and I couldn’t understand why from looking at the code. Thus, in a bit of disgust, I gave up on it for the night.

Yet somehow my determination to pursue programming remained undiminished. I looked up an old classmate on Facebook who works for a company that helps amateur programmers find jobs. I took a quiz on the company’s website, which apparently can get you an interview if you do well on it. I didn’t do well. I barely passed one section and failed the other four. Apparently, that still put me in the 40^th-60^th percentile of people who take the test… what? I didn’t feel like the test questions were difficult, but I wasn’t familiar with most of the languages or branches of knowledge. Anyway, I was still somehow undeterred and decided to look for jobs that I might enjoy.

I found two or three jobs not too far away that I would be interested in doing, required Java skills, but were not too strict about experience or education. I couldn’t ask for better. So, I think I’m going to apply to them. I also decided to research a few programming knowledge-based topics (as opposed to practical coding skills), and I might have a direction for portfolio projects as well.

MEMORIZATION
I spent over half an hour on this yesterday. Writing out the rest of Psalm 22 took time, and then I also typed it out with every other word missing. I think I’ll repeat this exercise today, and then try it without any help.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
I finished Mark with chapter 16. The devotionals talked about enjoying youth without clinging to it. This reminded me of Perelandra by C. S. Lewis and the fruit of the moment. I had less difficulty with prayer than yesterday, once I got going, but in the future, I’m going to do planking or at least some push-ups in the interim between reading and prayer to help me stay awake and focused. Maybe I can meditate while doing this.

Code lecture? No, thank you.

Yesterday was another good day with a lot of progress.

SCHOOLWORK
I put in three hours and completed one assignment. I feel like this week is a bit work-heavy, though not as bad as last week, and even working as consistently as I am, I might have to put in some extra time over the weekend. But we’ll see.

One thing I have to do for my degree is pass a CLEP test for composition. Yesterday I found some details about that, found a course to help me study for it, and found that if I complete this course, I should get a voucher for taking the test. I was excited about that discovery. I’m going to work on the course for 30 minutes a day, and hopefully I’ll be ready to take the test when test centers open up again.

EXERCISE
I rowed for 22 minutes. The first five were easier than usual, but around the 12-minute mark I thought I was going to have to stop because I couldn’t catch my breath. I decided to decrease my rate of rowing. I tend to row at 21/22 strokes per minute but slowing to 19 allowed me to go as long as I did. I think next time I’ll input a goal of 20 strokes/minute. On the bright side, I barely had any sign of blisters when I finished. I think my left hand is developing callouses, while my right hand seems to have no tendencies to blister in the first place. I also planked, which was difficult but fulfilling.

SPANISH
I studied the three lessons about the verbs ser and estar. I think I have a good grasp on the distinction, but there’s still one lesson left which could throw a wrench in that understanding. I listened to a podcast while rowing, which was enjoyable as it was about winning over a girl. I failed to understand more words than usual, but it was still interesting. I asked Alexa about the date and the level of pollen, a question I developed from her response to a query about the weather of the day.

RUBIK’S CUBE
I was more deliberate in my practice than recently, but I still didn’t go through all the OLL algorithms. I think I’ll write down “F2L practice video” in my free time activity list, and if I find a helpful video maybe I’ll be inspired to work harder.

DIY
I sanded several pieces of wood. Before I do this again today, I need to understand the purpose of sanding better. I didn’t do any research, thinking that I could just get started, but I didn’t know the extent to which the pieces need to be sanded or the grain of the sandpaper. Mom gave me some advice, but it took me a long time to finish the first piece, so I searched for more advice on google. They said that using finer than 180 is rarely necessary. Thus, I used grade 100 to do the rest of the pieces. I’m not even halfway finished though.

PROGRAMMING
I tried following the video that I mentioned yesterday. Maybe it’s fine if you already know Javascript and just want to know the procedure of programming a game, but my situation is the opposite. The instructor just typed the code and explained the purpose of each code segment—that’s barely more instructive than well-commented code. I wanted to watch something that explained more about the syntax of Javascript, which this person completely skipped. So I guess it’s back to Java for me. I did install Netbeans, my choice of Java IDE, on my new computer, which took some time.

So, I need a new goal for programming already. I could return to my memory program, work on a different project that I have in mind, or seek out another tutorial that might do a better job of helping me learn something, also thereby gearing me up for more intense involvement. I think today I’ll look into the first option and take a swipe at some low-hanging fruit on my feature/bug list, and if I exhaust my options before my time is up I’ll try to break down some features into smaller steps. Then tomorrow I’ll re-evaluate whether I want to continue working on the memory program or try a different path.

MEMORIZATION
I wrote out Psalm 22 up to verse 20. I read about the crucifixion in Mark this morning, so I expect that revisiting these verses will feel more immediate.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
I read Mark 15, the crucifixion. It felt more emotional than I remembered. One of the devotionals talked about the futility of knowledge and wisdom without God, which is always a good thing for me to be reminded of. Prayer was difficult, maybe because I woke up earlier than usual and was still sleepy.

Start programming!

I wrote a lot of thoughts last night, so I’m not sure that I’ll have much to add today. Even though it was kind of late when I wrote all that, upon revisiting it I’m still content with it, and I intend to continue working on my mantra in the future. I’m re-adding programming to my list of goals, and I will schedule time for it every day.

SCHOOLWORK
I was feeling lazy and sleepy, so I only did two sessions of schoolwork for a total of 90 minutes. That’s unsatisfactory but not too bad, especially if yesterday is the only day like that.

EXERCISE
If I had had to plank for ten more seconds last night, I don’t think I would have made it. This morning was a lot easier. Later today I’m going to row.

SPANISH
I finished the first grammar unit. Adjective agreement rules can get a bit complicated—if they end in a consonant they only agree in number, unless the adjective refers to nationality or the ending is -or, -án, -ón, or -ín, in which case they must agree in gender also. It’s still not as bad as Latin or Russian, though. I asked Alexa about the date, but didn’t talk to Mom.

RUBIK’S CUBE
Solved a couple of times, including once at 1:14, but I got lucky there. I didn’t practice methodically. I think I might need to schedule this rather than expecting myself to do it without prompting.

PROJECTS – which I’m going to call DIY from now on
I finished cutting the wood for the patio table. The next step is sanding. I looked for the electric sander, but couldn’t find it—I’ll ask for help today. I had intended to watch a video about it, but I forgot what I was doing, which led me to watching residential wiring instead and because of that writing last night’s post.

PROGRAMMING
Although I’m in the middle of a project that I want to finish, I think I need a boost of success before jumping back into that bog. I found a 2-hour video teaching how to program various video games in javascript, so my plan is to spend an hour a day going through that. I’m also going to look for my dream job, though I probably won’t schedule that unless I don’t make any progress on it this week.

MEMORIZATION
I failed to review Psalm 18 because of one verse, ugh. I wrote out the first ten verses of Psalm 22.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
I read Mark 14. The Keller devotional was particularly relevant today—it talked about the vanity of work and the futility of perfectionism. I had difficulty starting to pray, but it got easier as I got going.

Careers and mantras

Last night when I couldn’t sleep, I installed a dating app which had good reviews. I spent way too much time last night and this morning browsing profiles and tweaking my own. That’s unfortunate, but more importantly, it made me think more about my future career, because it’s really rather silly to pursue a relationship when my career goals are unclear.

My plan when I came home was to get my master’s degree in teaching and then either go straight overseas, teach here for a year and then go overseas, or start a career as an electrician. I’ve toyed with a few other career ideas in the interim—industrial chemistry, electrical engineering, mechatronics—but electricity seemed most interesting to me and wouldn’t require years of schooling. Then I watched a video about wiring. Ugh, tedium. I could do it, but it would be so monotonous. Better than cashiering for sure, but that’s not saying much.

Reflecting on this, I decided that as frustrated as I have been with programming, it’s the only reasonable career that I could pursue. Why?

On the personal inclination side:

-          I love the concept of programming. It’s a magical language that you use to change reality.

-          I enjoy mathematical and logical puzzles, although I’m seldom motivated to solve them for their own sake.

-          I know that I have the capacity to be very interested in programming. Twice in my life, I was obsessed for several weeks. I thoroughly enjoyed the majority of my computer science class projects, at least when I gave myself enough time to do them justice.

-          There’s tons to learn. That’s also a negative thing, because it’s overwhelming, but I can’t imagine that tedium would ever be a lasting problem.

-          Software is in everything, so I should (eventually) be able to find a position wherever I want to go, related to whatever field I like.

-          My favorite video game, Factorio, is basically a graphical representation of the programming process.

On the practical side:

-          It’s lucrative. Unlike in education, I wouldn’t have to worry about providing for a family.

-          It’s a large and vital industry—if I can get some experience, I don’t think keeping a job will ever be a problem.

-          I suspect that telecommuting is more common in this field than in most (if not all). For the sake of being healthy and cutting down on transportation costs, I would prefer to be in a field where this is possible.

-          Compared with teaching, I think I would have more time outside of work for my own pursuits.

What are the challenges?

1.       I keenly feel my lack of normal qualifications, which drains my confidence.

2.       The goal of making up for my lack feels nebulous, which drains my motivation.

3.       When I hit a wall in programming, I dread returning to it like I dread calling a stranger.

4.       I’m not in an ideal geographic position for a programming job.

5.       I don’t feel like I’m as creative or tech-savvy as a lot of people in the field. My natural inclination is more “ignore or tolerate problems” rather than “find a way to fix them”.

How do I approach these challenges?

1.       Build confidence through success. If I can produce something, I can feel confident about my abilities. Even if it’s not something original, or it’s not exactly what I want, just producing something should boost confidence.

2.       Make specific goals. Find a dream job, look at the qualifications, and work toward them.

3.       Take a break, brainstorm a list of possible solutions, start with the easy ones and work on until the problem is solved. Ask questions on a website if necessary.

4.       This is not a challenge. I would be happy to move away (within a reasonable distance), and it’s likely that in a year’s time I’ll feel this sentiment even more keenly.

5.       Eh, this is just negativity. I also know that I’m more tech-savvy (at least, by nature) than some people who are in the field, and I believe creativity can be cultivated and practiced.

Looks good, I’ll continue thinking about this tomorrow.

Another thought I’ve had—one thing I appreciate about dating websites is that it gives me an opportunity to evaluate who I am. I tend to err on the side of caution in most things, even in giving statements about myself, lest they prove untrue. Even so, in some aspects I tend to write what I want to be true more than what is true (for example, reading on a typical Friday night when video games are a more frequent reality). So I think I need to try doing this so that I can keep my goals in mind:

I am a beloved child of God who requests and receives forgiveness of sins because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. I seek wisdom from God every day.

I have a lot to contribute to society, and I intend to do that in part through a career in education or computer science, which I’m preparing for now.

I can interact with people confidently based on the facts above and by keeping in mind that they are also loved by God and therefore I too love them. I am interested in their lives, marvel at the gifts that God has given them, and look for ways to serve them.

I love learning about God’s creation and the way He has worked in the world through history and science. I revel in the beauty of music and the complexity and logic of math and language.

That’s what I’ve got so far. Revisions and addenda to come, most likely. For the moment anyway, I’m proud of it.

Vinsomnia

I started reading a kind of reference book about the elements in the periodic table, with several pictures of each element in various forms, and a few paragraphs about their applications and interesting properties. It’s quite funny sometimes, and I’m really enjoying it.

I had a bit of wine last night, about a quarter of a glass, and that’s the only cause to which I can attribute my inability to sleep before 3 AM. Because of that, I think I want to take it easy today. Yesterday was a great day though.

SCHOOLWORK
I studied for 3 hours yesterday, taking three quizzes finding some articles and a direction for one of my projects.

EXERCISE
I did a normal plank for a combined time of 2:10, plus I did side planking and knee planking. My core is a bit sore today, even though it was not too difficult at the time.

SPANISH
I did three more grammar lessons, covering present simple tense conjugations and adjective agreement. I learned how to tell Alexa to set a timer. I didn’t talk to Mom or listen to the podcast.

RUBIK’S CUBE
I went through all the OLL algorithms at least once, but I really should have done more. My timed solve was about 2 minutes, and I solved it again while planking with a similar result.

PROJECTS
I cut most of the wood for my table. It’s difficult to measure and cut wood to the same length. I found better success when I used one piece to mark the next, in comparison with measuring by ruler every time.

MEMORIZATION
I typed Psalm 21 with near perfect accuracy but failed on Psalm 20. Even so, I think I might start Psalm 22 today. It’s long, so I’ll probably begin by writing it out.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
I wanted to sleep in, so I skipped. I feel bad about it.

Worst week for school

Looking back on my title from my last post, it seems that I might have been overcome by hubris. Although I had a decent Saturday morning, my plans were disrupted by Dad’s pronouncement that he was ready to go get the materials for my woodworking project. This should have been fine—I could simply shift my project time to the morning and the schoolwork to the afternoon. However, the trip was extremely stressful, and when I got home, I ended up spending the entire afternoon drifting into and out of sleep. In between my catnaps, I either played my new (mindless) video game or I read, as I lacked the will to return to schoolwork. Finally, on Sunday I realized that I was pressed. I tried to finish the assignment on which I was furthest along, but the way ahead seemed incomprehensible and drove me back to video games. I waited until past the last minute and had to turn in three less-than-half finished assignments. It was miserable.

It was a heavy week of assignments, and in the end I did spend just as much time on schoolwork as I did two weeks ago (and several hours more than last week), but it wasn’t nearly sufficient. I needed to put more time in earlier in the week, so once again I’m committing myself to doing at least three hours a day, at least on weekdays.

Right now though, I’m so distracted that I’m finding it difficult to focus on my reading. I finished a book about the periodic table of the elements, and this morning I started another one. I talked with Mom about it and various experiments, so now I really want to do some more research on it. I don’t really have any progress to report since my last post, given that almost all of the last 48 hours was spent on video games or schoolwork. I did listen to the sermon from the church in Greensboro for the first time since I came home, and that was really nice—I had missed it.

Can't stop

Yesterday went very well, and even when I gave myself time to be unproductive (and I even bought a video game that was on sale) I couldn’t focus on such inconsequential activities and instead applied for admission to a local community college and made an attempt at registration for summer classes at Liberty. Furthermore, I spent some of my free time in Pride and Prejudice and then read about chemistry before bed. Earlier in the day, I worked on cleaning out my bookshelf and I found some of my missing books in storage. Now I have the important books on the bookshelf, and one box of books in storage which I probably won’t need unless I teach a relevant school subject—literature (probably for high school), French, Japanese, Russian, or programming.

SCHOOLWORK
I managed three hours and fifteen minutes yesterday, which is about an hour more than I’ve done any other day except for Sunday (when I was meeting the deadline). I finished one assignment yesterday and made good progress on another, but this week really is quite difficult and work-intensive, so I might still be pressed tomorrow even if I work just as well today as yesterday.

EXERCISE
I rowed for 21 minutes. It was good exercise and I was quite winded afterwards. Around 12 minutes in, I felt like it might be a bit much for me, but I pushed through it. It did give me blisters on my left hand though, so I can’t do it more than twice a week until I develop callouses. I need to find another way to exercise, and I’m not really interested in stumbling around trying to dance. I looked up jumping rope, but I would probably have to do that outside, which is embarrassing, and I don’t think it would hold my interest very long. What I need is a kind of exercise RPG. Surely someone has come up with that! As for planking, last night was difficult, and I skipped this morning. I think I may take a rest day.

SPANISH
I listened to a new podcast while rowing. One of the hosts has an atrocious American accent in Spanish, but he sometimes makes mistakes and quickly corrects them (or is corrected), which is great for me. The other host has such a beautiful voice and accent that her superior could not be desired. The level of the podcast is ideal, I think, so despite the one painful accent I’m going to stick with it for a while. I did two new lessons on the Spanish grammar site and re-did two tests which apparently had not been recorded. I did my five minutes of vocabulary on the Drops app—I learned several weather-related words. I learned how to ask Alexa about the weather, and I understood most of her answer. Finally, I asked Mom, “what is this?” in reference to the table. This morning I’ve had Spanish running through my head, so I think I did a good job yesterday. I really think the podcast was the most helpful, so I need to find motivation to listen to it even on days in which I do not exercise.

RUBIK’S CUBE
I solved this once yesterday, after planking. I kind of forgot about it otherwise. If I think about it during one of my breaks today, I’ll go through my OLL algorithms.

PROJECTS
I got my Mom’s approval on a small patio table and talked with Dad about the necessary items. We have all the tools, but only one of the materials. Today we will probably go to procure these materials. I mentioned a few other projects to Mom, and she was positive about them all, and even suggested one to me herself.

MEMORIZATION
I finally succeeded in typing Psalm 19 with above 90% accuracy, and I also remembered about half of Psalm 21. I’ll continue working on Psalm 21 while reviewing 3-4 other Psalms between 1-20.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
I read Mark 12 today and didn’t get much out of the Keller devotional. I started praying a few times, but after ten minutes of losing concentration, I gave up. I’ll try again tomorrow.

Programming/Action

Today I’m trying out my programming/action phase plan, and right now is my programming phase. I’ve already made a few adjustments to my schedule before entering this phase, but I’ve tried to minimize them. Last night I was reading until almost one because I didn’t feel sleepy. As a result, I gave myself the freedom to wake up without an alarm, and therefore began my day 20 minutes later than planned. Preparing for the day with breakfast and a shower also took 15 minutes longer than planned, so I’m now 35 minutes behind schedule. I’m hoping to cut the programming phase short though, since I already wrote a lot yesterday and did my planning for today as well.

One thing I realized after making up this schedule is that from the way the motivational course laid it out, these are things that will become habits, rather than the entirety of the day. Schoolwork is probably not going to become a habit. I’m not sure. Regardless, I’m trying it out my way by scheduling something for the majority of the day. I find that mere time-based cues can be insufficient to remove me from the activity that I’m currently engaged in, so in the future I may limit my planning to being around (more or less) fixed events. From waking up to breakfast is my best time to establish a habit, then after breakfast is good too. After lunch should work most days, but after dinner Mom likes to play games, and before bed I can’t make myself do much other than read. If I wake up earlier then, I might have more time for habits.

Yesterday I read Cheaper By the Dozen, and though there wasn’t a whole lot of substance, I thoroughly enjoyed the book and fully intend (unlike with some of the books I’ve reread) to keep it. I then started reading a textbook from GCC that I never actually read at the time, called “How the Rest Hates the West.” It’s kind of a diatribe though (not the word I’m looking for, but I can’t find it). It’s a one-sided, unashamedly biased analysis of recent historical events. I agree with everything the author said, but I don’t see much point in reading a book that gets my blood boiling, causes me to rail about the injustices, contradictions, and idiocies of the world, without giving me facts. So finally I read nearly half of Pride and Prejudice before getting sleepy. I managed to go the whole day without any video games or fanfiction, for the first time since the beginning of March.

Here’s the update on my goals:

SCHOOLWORK
I only worked on this for 70 minutes Thursday. It was a productive time and I felt satisfied with my progress, but I really need to invest a bit more into schoolwork on a daily basis so that I don’t get crunched on the weekend. I’m hoping that today I will meet my goal of 3 hours, and if I can match that on Saturday as well then I shouldn’t have to panic on Sunday.

EXERCISE
The plank exercise was quite tough this morning. I’m going to row later today—I hope blisters don’t prevent me.

SPANISH
I did my 5 minute vocabulary app (Drops) and one lesson of from the grammar website. I need to find a new podcast since the one I found before is about half English, and since it doesn’t repeat the Spanish after giving the English translation, it doesn’t really help me learn the words.

RUBIK’S CUBE
I did this a couple of times yesterday without timing myself. I haven’t really done it since my birthday. I think I still remember all the OLL algorithms, but I’m having trouble identifying when to use them again.

PROJECTS
I have chosen a woodworking project that I intend to start on. It’s simple and should be good for a beginner like me. Today I’ll get Mom’s approval to make it and verify that we have the tools with Dad. Then I’ll have to get the materials, which I may not be able to do for a couple of days. Today I also have a phone call to make, which I’ll do during this time.

MEMORIZATION
I did well yesterday except that there was one verse in Psalm 19 that I still couldn’t type with more than 90% accuracy. Still, I think that I will start on Psalm 21 today.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
I read Mark 11, which was short. Prayer was not too difficult today. I didn’t get anything in particular out of the Keller book.

Productivity strategies

On my birthday, my new laptop arrived. With this laptop, I was able to smoothly (albeit with the computer fan running noisily) play Subnautica. It was a great game, and one of the most immersive I have ever played. Furthermore, it took me less than 30 hours to (almost) finish, although I did a few restarts and lost data from a bug. So I played it somewhat obsessively last week, once again barely finishing my schoolwork on time, and then on Monday I (nearly) beat the game. I played some Factorio after that, but then I started reading an extremely long fanfiction. It was my second time reading it, and the first time was just a year ago, but it was as good as I remembered. It’s approaching a million words though, so that consumed my Tuesday and Wednesday. Now I’m finished and not feeling any attraction toward video games or fanfiction.

Although I didn’t work much toward my goals, I wasn’t completely unproductive. I’ve done plank exercises for the past ten days, sometimes both morning and evening. They were easy last week, but they’ve gotten a lot harder. Last night and this morning’s exercises came close to making me want to give up. I also did rowing on Tuesday.

While I rowed, vacuumed, and then while I cooked dinner last night, I listened to a course on Skillshare about motivation. Although the author (clearly not a native English speaker) had a few verbal tics that annoyed me, it was a very good course. I had three takeaway points from it. First, have a planning period (or as I like to think of it, a programming period), and an action period. During the action period, think as little as possible, change as little as possible, and whatever you do, don’t think about changing. That was the possibly the strongest point and the most practical. The second point was about finding the purpose for your goals: “think about how your life would be different once you achieved your goals.” I’ve never really thought about this, so I want to give it a try. Finally, “find several situations in your everyday life that relate to your goal, and use them to remind yourself of how much you want to achieve your goals.” For example, if you look in the mirror every day, when you do so, think about how much you want to lose weight or build muscle. For the programming period, since I mostly have ideas about what to do, I only need to fit these actions into time slots. That’s not suitable for a blog so I won’t write it here. The other two are more verbally-based goals, though.

Here’s some brainstorming about the second point--what is my purpose? To glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Okay, what do I need to do to be able to do that? Develop a closer relationship with Him, imitate Christ, and learn to love the church (God’s people). Well, that middle one kind of encompasses everything, but anyway. Prayer, Bible reading, and memorization directly apply to the first. To the third—I guess my people journal is a related goal, though I’m not actually sure if it works. Speaking of which, I have only written one entry in that. I need to write some more.

Working is also a part of glorifying God, a part that is vague for me. What is my purpose in working? That’s difficult to answer. Most essentially, I need to provide for myself and have enough to give to others. There are branching aspects from that trunk. I need to make enough to provide for a family if it should be in God’s will to grant me one. I want a job that will sharpen me, one in which I can feel that I can learn, improve at, and make progress over years. Saying it that way, it sounds like a not-too-tall order, so I guess it’s not accurate enough. As a teacher with relatively little experience, I almost can’t help but improve. Making progress over years though, maybe that does help it be specific enough—in Japan at least, I didn’t really feel able to do that. In Russia and Vietnam I was able, but I felt too disconnected from people in Russia, and in Vietnam… maybe I was too restless, but I also felt frustrated with my inability to make a difference in the students’ lives. So I should add that to my purpose—having a perceptible and positive effect on people’s lives. Wow, that actually might be a difficult requirement, and I’m not sure I can even think of a non-healthcare related profession that would qualify in the absolute sense. But if we take “positive” in a broader sense, I suppose even collecting trash would do.

Since work is related to residence, I’ll go ahead and list those goals/requirements too. Given my experience in Russia and my first months in Japan, I need to be connected to a community, and not just at church (although a strong church community might suffice). On the less necessary side, I want to be able to live in or at least be working toward living in a place that is quiet and comfortable. The latter probably refers to being modifiable—can I change the sink knobs and the toilet seat? Come to think of it, I could probably do that most places since neither is permanent. Ugh. But I have much less control if I go overseas. Finally, since variety has always been a large part of my life, I would probably prefer to have a job that I can separate from the rest of my life.

That might have gone off-track from my goal setting, but I think it was good to write those ideas down. Now for the actual exercise—how would my life be different? For the most important goals, I think I would value my time with God and other Christians more, I would have a desire to serve other people, and I would grow in wisdom. I also hope I would feel direction better in my life, or maybe that I would be better able to respond to it. That sounds good. How about the career/living-related goals? I would feel more comfortable about my place in this world, about who I am and what I can do. I think I might be able to connect to people better because I would feel more permanent and therefore more ready to commit to them. Wow, if that’s true, I really shouldn’t leave the country, and maybe I shouldn’t even admit to myself the possibility of leaving. That possibility is about 75% of why I’m studying in grad school now, though, so it might zap my motivation to study.

On that note, I might need to find a new motivation to stay in school. Well okay, maybe not. Teaching isn’t such a bad job, it’s just insufficient for a family and doesn’t give me much free time. The free time probably won’t be much of a concern for the first year or two, because everything will be new and I won’t have time to be bored. Do I really want to teach language arts, though? Honestly, I would like to give it a try. I’d like to keep my options open though, and being able to teach more languages is the main way I see to do that. I’ve got enough qualifications in programming that if I put in a week or two of work I think I could produce a program that would be sufficient to demonstrate my ability for teaching purposes. Spanish though, that’s a long road that I should get started on soon. Well, I have gotten started, I just need to keep going.

With those long-term goals better established, now I want to consider my unrelated goals. Exercise is necessary to keep myself healthy and in a good frame of mind, and I would also like to improve my body image. Rubik’s cube is a quick, painless activity that gives me confidence in my ability to fulfill goals, as well as helping me maintain focus on schoolwork at times. Violin… well I like music, I want music to be a part of my life, and practicing violin (being a mostly physical activity) can give me clear results which boost my confidence. Right now, I’m not sure I have the willpower to practice—I’m not excited about any song, my acoustic is out of commission, and I don’t have a way to make the cool app function with my electric violin. Unless I find some way to output to a speaker, my electric violin is only useful for practicing. Decent transmitters specifically for that purpose seem to be expensive, and a cable seems uncomfortable. In conclusion, I’m not going to concern myself with violin for the rest of this month, just like I haven’t for the first half of it, hah.

Now for other goals that I haven’t really addressed this month. I want to work on making things. To do this, I need materials, which are a pain to procure in the current environment. I’m not sure that I want to work on this every day, but it is unquestionably a better use of time than playing video games or reading fanfiction, so it would be best to make time for it to avoid reverting to the others. Related to that, I want to read books before I go to sleep, preferably related to history. The hardest part of this is finding the books. If the library were open, it would be no problem, but as it isn’t, I really only have the books in my house to read. So I’m going to pile them up and read them, and if I get bored of one I will allow myself to swap it out without guilt. This should help me avoid fanfiction.

Okay, now I’ve got three fun(ish) books and two less fun books to choose from. Unfortunately, only one is actually historical non-fiction. Nevermind, looking in the office there are plenty more interesting non-fiction books, but I’ll start with this one since it’s on my bookshelf. Now I need to come up with a plan for my projects, and a plan for my time.

32nd Birthday

I’m 32 years old today. In this past year I’ve felt a lot of the pressure of getting old, which for some reason I didn’t feel (at least to the same degree) when I was 30. This year has been possibly the most difficult of my life, and the worst part is that I never had appropriate justification for feeling that way. I’m still feeling the uncertainty of the future—will I be a teacher in America, or abroad? Should I consider a different field even though I spent time on my teacher’s certification? I don’t think these are decisions that I can make any time in the next few months, but their importance makes me nervous and impatient.

One of the things that I decided to do yesterday was find a project so that I could work with my hands and feel productive. I started out my search by watching the class about “makers” and then looking up a magazine for makers. While it was interesting to browse through, and I think I probably would read it if I paid for it and it was sent to me, I couldn’t see myself actually making any of the projects. Most of them were more impressive than functional—the peanut butter turner machine that is the focus of the “making” class is a good example. The guy made a machine to automatically rotate a natural peanut butter jar because it was a pain to stir it up in the morning and he didn’t think he would remember to simply turn the jar himself. I guess I’m not lazy enough to emulate his ambitions. I felt the same way when looking at Arduino project ideas. They’re gimmicky machines which only save a minimal amount of human effort, if any at all.

But then I started looking at woodworking projects. Wow, no problems finding practical ideas. I could make a turning spice rack, a drawer filler, or an outdoor table with planters. I looked at sewing a bit too, and found a few things of interest there too. I’m less sanguine about making useful items with sewing, but the products generally take up less space, require fewer tools and equipment, and are probably cheaper, so it’s worth looking into.

On the less productive side, I bought Subnautica, which is an acclaimed game that I have wanted for a while. I had intended to buy it after I got my new computer, but it was on sale and I had some spare time, so I went ahead and got it yesterday. The focus is exploration, which is not really my cup of tea, but the progression which is easy to sense keeps me from getting frustrated.

SCHOOLWORK
I did two hours and completed readings and quizzes. I had intended to do more, but this was sufficient.

EXERCISE
I finally tried dancing on the floor protector mat. It worked well, but my dancing was poor after the first five minutes. I decided that I need another outlet for exercise. I enjoyed my plank app, though. Someday I’d like to see if I can do a five-minute plank in easy mode—with knees on the floor rather than toes.

VIOLIN
I forgot about this yesterday. I need to make a decision on the Bluetooth transmitter, whether the delay is too bad to be tolerated or not. If it is, I might end up dropping the violin from my goals.

SPANISH
I didn’t listen to the podcast, but I found a website (studyspanish.com) which has progressive grammar lessons and tests and quizzes as well, so I’m going to use that for my grammar. I discussed my oral strategies with Mom, and she seemed fairly on board with it—hopefully she’ll keep me accountable.

RUBIK’S CUBE
I solved it about ten times yesterday, and correctly identified the OLL algorithm every time, so I’m feeling a lot better about that. My total times ranged from 58 seconds to one unfortunate solve of 2:40. I’ll keep practicing all the algorithms today and tomorrow and look into ways to practice F2L from Friday.

BIBLE MEMORY
I succeeded on Psalm 20! But failed Psalm 4 (just one verse, but still…). Consistent practice is my anthem for a while, though if I keep having problems, I might concentrate on trouble verses.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
I read Mark 10 this morning. Prayer came easily.

New apps

Yesterday was a fairly productive day after I woke up from my video game daze around noon. Last night I didn’t want to go to sleep, so I searched for apps and podcasts to help me with my goals and maybe make new ones. I found a Spanish podcast to try out, apps for Arabic and Spanish vocabulary, and a well-rated plank app, but my most interesting discovery was “Skillshare”. In this app, people make videos to share the skills they have. The first course I decided to try was about “makers”, people with broad interests who want to make their own things, possibly incorporating multiple interests in their endeavors. So far the course has been mostly about the mindset and not actually much use, but I’m interested in the magazine that the teacher of the course publishes.

Since I was looking up apps, I was drawn (as always) to a new time tracker/to-do list application. It is based on the pomodoro approach, which advises 25 minutes of work, 5 minutes of rest. After trying this, I decided that 25 minutes was too rigid for me, but now I have a slightly better idea of what I want in an app so I will probably look for another one soon. Probably not today, if I can control myself, because I have several other extra things to do.

SCHOOLWORK
I worked for about 2.5 hours, which is, I think, the most I’ve worked in any day that wasn’t Sunday. Considering I managed to get it done even without working in the morning was encouraging. It helped that the assignments (reading + quiz) are easy and approachable, so I’ll challenge myself to work at similar length in the face of more difficult assignments.

EXERCISE
None yesterday except for a plank and some bicep curls. I’m going to use the new plank app though—it’s a 30-day plan of short exercises to improve planking, and I think it will really be motivating.

VIOLIN
My Bluetooth transmitter arrived, but there is definitely a delay between my playing and the output. I should try a practice session to see how much it will bother me.

SPANISH
Nothing yesterday. I’m going to try using the Drops application for 5 minutes a day to acquire basic vocabulary. I need to decide on a time to listen to the Spanish podcast. I’ve identified cleaning time and cooking time as good times—we’ll see if I can actually remember to do it then. I still need to set a plan for grammar and a schedule and goals for my verbal proficiency. Maybe I could learn a question to ask Alexa every day. I’d also like to interact with Mom and do some kind of environmental aid/reminder. The latter requires research, but if I have a question for Alexa and a question for Mom (along with anticipated answer formats), that would be a good start for my oral component.

RUBIK’S CUBE
I solved it twice yesterday and figured out a confusion I had about one particular OLL algorithm. So, I didn’t spend much time on it. My idea of using an algorithm to shuffle and then a different algorithm to return to solved status is a good one, but I think I need a clearer goal. Part of the hard thing about practicing Rubik’s cube is that the whole reason I’m doing it is to take my mind off of other things, as a break. If I’m practicing it deliberately, I’m not really taking a break, I’m just switching gears. Which is good too, but then I need other breaks, so I lose some motivation in that way.

MEMORIZATION
I reviewed some earlier Psalms with no problem, and then tried 19 and 20 again. They’re still difficult, but I was close to 90%. I’m thinking that I will be able to get them to 90% tomorrow or Thursday, and then from Friday or Saturday I’ll start Psalm 21. However, starting with Psalm 21, with a few exceptions, I think I’ll need to make an effort to actually re-memorize the Psalms rather than reviewing them until they come back to me.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
Today I read my devotional and prayed but forgot to read Mark. It was a good day for prayer, though, and the devotional had two points that stuck out to me.

Back to it!

It’s Monday again, a new week! Lately I’ve woken up thinking about Factorio, and before I know it it’s lunch time and I’ve done no schoolwork. Yeah, basically I’ve had another rotten week. This morning was similar, but after lunch I did reading and a quiz, so I’m feeling too productive to return to my slothful ways.

My new laptop didn’t come last week. I had to order another one, as this one was refunded without explanation. We played a new board game called Spontuneous on Saturday night, where you have to think of a song that uses a word which another player has come up with. It was interesting, though I imagine that it’s better with more people.

SCHOOLWORK
Last week I clocked about 11.5 hours on schoolwork. Considering I got most of the work done, that’s impressive efficiency. However, nearly half of that time was on Sunday, and the last assignment would have been much better had I been able to spend another hour on it. So, I’m not going to repeat that this week! Although, it should be easier this week anyway because I only have two creative assignments, and neither of them seem as daunting as those that I’ve done before. I’m going to aim for at least four sessions a day, two for each class.

EXERCISE
I helped move gravel on Saturday and I’m still a bit sore from that. I’ve done some weightlifting and at least one plank a day, but on the whole I’ve been lazy. I still haven’t established the routine of planking in the morning, but I am consistent about planking before I turn in for bed. Today I’m definitely going to dance and try out the floor protector mat.

VIOLIN
I haven’t done anything except order a bluetooth transmitter, which will allow me to play my electric violin out of almost any speaker in the house. The transmitter should come today, so if we don’t play a game tonight I’ll probably practice, and if we do I’ll still give it a test run.

SPANISH
I set up Alexa in my room to default to Spanish. I asked her a few questions, like “what is the tallest mountain in the world” and “how do you say pajaro in English?” It’s great practice I think because it forces me to speak clearly, loudly, and with reasonable speed. I’m still looking for other resources though. I need to set up a system.

RUBIK’S CUBE
The only thing on which I’ve made decent progress. I’ve found training to be too much of a hassle, but I can do all the algorithms with little hesitation. However, I have difficulty matching the algorithm to the cube state to which it should be applied. I’m practicing it by using one on a solved cube, and then applying the proper algorithm to the result. I think if I continue this practice for a week, I should be able to use it in a timely manner. My F2L is really slow, though. After this week, I will work on improving it.

MEMORIZATION
I haven’t worked on this since Wednesday.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
I did this two more days since Thursday, but I’m still inconsistent. I think that I made a conscious decision not to do it, though, which shows that I’m thinking of it at the right time even if I’m making bad decisions.

Soundpost down!

For all my enthusiasm, I didn’t have the best day yesterday. I helped tear down the shed for about 90 minutes, which I counted as my exercise, but before and after that I was feeling quite lazy and spent a bit too much time on Factorio. Last night I went to sleep earlier, after finishing Carry On Mr. Bowditch and starting Ender’s Game. I woke up at 4:30 though and read more. Anyway, here’s the rundown.

SCHOOLWORK
In the end, I only spent an hour and forty minutes. I got to a stopping place in both classes, and then mostly figured out what I would need to do for the next assignments, but I didn’t feel like starting them. At this rate, I expect that I’ll have no problem finishing EDUC 521 by Saturday, and EDUC 532 doesn’t seem like it will require much more effort either, so I’m not feeling a lot of pressure. Even so, my goal was for two hours a day total, so I’m still expecting that much of myself for today.

EXERCISE
As I said, I counted tearing down the shed as my exercise, though I also did a bit of weight-lifting. I planked last night for two minutes, and this morning for about 2:10. I’ll try dancing again today, experimenting with the floor protector mat.

VIOLIN
Hearken unto my tale of woe. I was excited about using the app that I found, and I pulled out my old violin. The bridge was down. “That was smart,” I thought, “but it’s a bit of a pain to set it back up, so I’ll just use my electric violin.” I pulled that out and then realized that I probably couldn’t use the app with it, because the app needed to be able to hear it. So I stowed it again and pulled out the wooden violin. I set up the bridge according to the marks on my violin, and started tuning it. I had just about gotten it in tune when BANG. The bridge collapsed. It scared me, but I started to set it back up again. Then I noticed something rolling around inside. After quite a bit of effort, I figured out that it was some kind of wooden peg, probably important for the structure of the violin. Now I’m thinking that the violin might be permanently damaged because I see no way to put the peg back wherever it is. Disheartened by this result, I gave up for the day.

After googling this, it’s apparently a common operation to replace this piece (the sound post) and might not even cost money. Considering that I bought the violin at a small shop nearby, I suspect that I’d have a good chance of not being charged if I took it there. However, I’m also pretty sure that the shop is closed down right now, so I’ll just loosen the strings and wait for a good time to get it looked at.

SPANISH
My search for grammar resources turned up nothing of apparent value to me. I think I’m going to have to make my own program, but I’m not exactly sure how to do that. Okay, before I resort to a lot of effort, I’ll check out my old language learning forums for any good Spanish resources specifically related to grammar. For oral proficiency, I need to listen, and I need to speak. The University of Texas at Austin has tons of videos specific to tasks. I’ll watch one or two videos and attempt to do the task myself based on the example. For listening, maybe I can find a Spanish podcast. When will I listen? I don’t know. Maybe if the podcast’s subject matter is interesting enough, I’ll make time and maybe do weights or rowing as I listen.

RUBIK’S CUBE
I’m still averaging 1:45 for a solve. Finishing F2L takes consistently around one minute. Forty-five seconds for the last layer is a ridiculously long amount of time—it really shouldn’t take more than ten seconds, and even with the beginner method I could do it in fifteen. At this point I’m terrible at recognizing which algorithm to apply, and occasionally I’ll mess up the algorithm too. Today I’m learning the last OLL algorithm though, and I’ll concentrate on my recognition from tomorrow.

MEMORIZATION
I successfully reviewed Psalms 9, 12, and 17. I gave 19 a shot, and it was rough.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
Since I woke up early and read Ender’s Game, I didn’t do this. I think I need a reminder when I wake up. I’d put something on my ceiling, but I kind of doubt that I would see it. Maybe putting it on my light switch or bedside table would work better.

Today’s special to-do list:

• Try dancing on the floor protector mat
  
• Set up electric violin to work on speakers
  
• Look at language learning forums for Spanish resources, especially related to grammar.
  
• Look for Spanish podcast.
  
• Set up new laptop which should be arriving today.

Spring(board) of April

It’s the first day of a new month! Oh hey, it’s April Fool’s Day. I kind of wish I had a prank in mind, but not enough to actually spend time on it. Anyway, things are strange with the virus shutting everything down, and I’m not especially happy because my pollen allergies are bullying me, but I’m going to give this month a good go. My hope is that it will serve as a springboard into May—I’ll set up habits and procedures that will allow me to stay productive as I enter a more normal mode of life.

Yesterday was kind of my springboard into this month. It was a little on the busy side—I went shopping, spent two hours cooking, and wrote an excessively long blog post. I did spend some time on Factorio, but I don’t think it was in excess of two hours. I didn’t read fanfiction, and instead finished A Gathering of Old Men. After that I was still quite awake, so I read about half of my old favorite Carry On, Mr. Bowditch.

SCHOOLWORK
In the end I didn’t reach my schoolwork goal, finishing at 90 minutes instead of 120. Still, I worked with focus and completed the reading and the quiz. Today I’ll try to hit 2.5 hours to make up for yesterday. I already did thirty minutes, so I’m feeling good about that, and eager to get back to it.

EXERCISE
I danced with the dancing socks on my shoes. It was a tolerable situation, but pivoting was still a bit difficult. I’m going to try using a floor protector tonight. Sadly, I didn’t clean afterwards. I also had difficulty remembering the moves, and I felt that I looked silly most of the time.

I did a plank last night but forgot to do one this morning. Even though I worked my abs heavily during my dancing session, I managed to hold out long enough to nearly finish F2L at a casual pace, meaning at least a minute. I didn’t actually time it because I was too lazy to walk to the playroom and get my watch.

VIOLIN
I found an app that was almost exactly what I’m looking for, which will give me a record of my intonation as I play a scale. I wish it had a metronome, but I can use that separately without much effort. I didn’t practice yesterday because I ran out of time, but I’m going to try to do so today, and hopefully find my target piece.

SPANISH
I researched the ACTFL certification and found that it was indeed the test that I needed to study for. Unlike the JLPT which is pass or fail, the evaluation is more like the TOEFL, in which everyone takes the same test and the result determines your level. Overall, I think this is a better way to test, and it means that no matter what result I get, I’ll have something to show for having taken the test.

The OPI (Oral Proficiency Interview) test which is the requirement for educators seems very practical and communication oriented. That’s good, but it also means that it will be difficult (for me) to study for because it really requires interacting with native speakers. I remembered that we do have native speakers at church though, which will make it easier. Also, I have found a good resource specifically oriented to this test, so I’ll investigate it a little more and try to develop a plan for working through it. Preparation for the OPI will involve oral and aural skills, and I still think that my grammar needs focus. Today then, I’ll look for a grammar resource to work through.

RUBIK’S CUBE
It’s really difficult to count doing an algorithm 30 times. I’ve found though, that if I do an algorithm from the solved position three (or sometimes six) times, I wind up back at solved position, so that helps me to count. For new algorithms, if I work from solved position to solved position three times a day, three times each time, I think that will be sufficient. For reviewing algorithms, I’ll do one of these loops for each algorithm that I’m not comfortable with, preferably each review session. So, to summarize my schedule, I’ll have three deliberate practice sessions a day, in each of which I’ll work from solve to solve three times for the new algorithm and once for each unfamiliar algorithm. I’ll then do recognition training of the new algorithm twice.

This should be a good schedule when I transition to full CFOP, but it turns out that I only have two more OLL algorithms to learn for 2-step CFOP. From Friday, then, I’ll continue my unfamiliar algorithm review and replace the new algorithm practice with two more recognition training trials from a bank of all the OLL algorithms (except antisune which I can do in my sleep).

MEMORIZATION
I reviewed four Psalms yesterday and did really well with all of them except Psalm 20. That might have been the first time I’ve reviewed Psalm 20 in the past three years so, in which case I didn’t do too poorly. I think I’ll be able to get the first 20 Psalms to 90% by Friday, so instead of Monday I’ll start on 21 from Saturday.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
I read Mark 7 (?) and prayed for two people. Prayer was uncomfortable. I’m out of practice.

I’m going to make a list of tasks for the month too, but once again they’re a bit too private to post here. As for my Extolling Log (about people in my life), I think I need to set a time for it so that I don’t forget. Just before reading would be most ideal, but in the past that has been a difficult time slot to stay faithful to. I’m thinking that I will set a timer for five minutes for this task, and maybe if I do that I can succeed in this task even when I don’t feel like it.