32nd Birthday

I’m 32 years old today. In this past year I’ve felt a lot of the pressure of getting old, which for some reason I didn’t feel (at least to the same degree) when I was 30. This year has been possibly the most difficult of my life, and the worst part is that I never had appropriate justification for feeling that way. I’m still feeling the uncertainty of the future—will I be a teacher in America, or abroad? Should I consider a different field even though I spent time on my teacher’s certification? I don’t think these are decisions that I can make any time in the next few months, but their importance makes me nervous and impatient.

One of the things that I decided to do yesterday was find a project so that I could work with my hands and feel productive. I started out my search by watching the class about “makers” and then looking up a magazine for makers. While it was interesting to browse through, and I think I probably would read it if I paid for it and it was sent to me, I couldn’t see myself actually making any of the projects. Most of them were more impressive than functional—the peanut butter turner machine that is the focus of the “making” class is a good example. The guy made a machine to automatically rotate a natural peanut butter jar because it was a pain to stir it up in the morning and he didn’t think he would remember to simply turn the jar himself. I guess I’m not lazy enough to emulate his ambitions. I felt the same way when looking at Arduino project ideas. They’re gimmicky machines which only save a minimal amount of human effort, if any at all.

But then I started looking at woodworking projects. Wow, no problems finding practical ideas. I could make a turning spice rack, a drawer filler, or an outdoor table with planters. I looked at sewing a bit too, and found a few things of interest there too. I’m less sanguine about making useful items with sewing, but the products generally take up less space, require fewer tools and equipment, and are probably cheaper, so it’s worth looking into.

On the less productive side, I bought Subnautica, which is an acclaimed game that I have wanted for a while. I had intended to buy it after I got my new computer, but it was on sale and I had some spare time, so I went ahead and got it yesterday. The focus is exploration, which is not really my cup of tea, but the progression which is easy to sense keeps me from getting frustrated.

SCHOOLWORK
I did two hours and completed readings and quizzes. I had intended to do more, but this was sufficient.

EXERCISE
I finally tried dancing on the floor protector mat. It worked well, but my dancing was poor after the first five minutes. I decided that I need another outlet for exercise. I enjoyed my plank app, though. Someday I’d like to see if I can do a five-minute plank in easy mode—with knees on the floor rather than toes.

VIOLIN
I forgot about this yesterday. I need to make a decision on the Bluetooth transmitter, whether the delay is too bad to be tolerated or not. If it is, I might end up dropping the violin from my goals.

SPANISH
I didn’t listen to the podcast, but I found a website (studyspanish.com) which has progressive grammar lessons and tests and quizzes as well, so I’m going to use that for my grammar. I discussed my oral strategies with Mom, and she seemed fairly on board with it—hopefully she’ll keep me accountable.

RUBIK’S CUBE
I solved it about ten times yesterday, and correctly identified the OLL algorithm every time, so I’m feeling a lot better about that. My total times ranged from 58 seconds to one unfortunate solve of 2:40. I’ll keep practicing all the algorithms today and tomorrow and look into ways to practice F2L from Friday.

BIBLE MEMORY
I succeeded on Psalm 20! But failed Psalm 4 (just one verse, but still…). Consistent practice is my anthem for a while, though if I keep having problems, I might concentrate on trouble verses.

BIBLE READING AND PRAYER
I read Mark 10 this morning. Prayer came easily.