Careers and mantras

Last night when I couldn’t sleep, I installed a dating app which had good reviews. I spent way too much time last night and this morning browsing profiles and tweaking my own. That’s unfortunate, but more importantly, it made me think more about my future career, because it’s really rather silly to pursue a relationship when my career goals are unclear.

My plan when I came home was to get my master’s degree in teaching and then either go straight overseas, teach here for a year and then go overseas, or start a career as an electrician. I’ve toyed with a few other career ideas in the interim—industrial chemistry, electrical engineering, mechatronics—but electricity seemed most interesting to me and wouldn’t require years of schooling. Then I watched a video about wiring. Ugh, tedium. I could do it, but it would be so monotonous. Better than cashiering for sure, but that’s not saying much.

Reflecting on this, I decided that as frustrated as I have been with programming, it’s the only reasonable career that I could pursue. Why?

On the personal inclination side:

-          I love the concept of programming. It’s a magical language that you use to change reality.

-          I enjoy mathematical and logical puzzles, although I’m seldom motivated to solve them for their own sake.

-          I know that I have the capacity to be very interested in programming. Twice in my life, I was obsessed for several weeks. I thoroughly enjoyed the majority of my computer science class projects, at least when I gave myself enough time to do them justice.

-          There’s tons to learn. That’s also a negative thing, because it’s overwhelming, but I can’t imagine that tedium would ever be a lasting problem.

-          Software is in everything, so I should (eventually) be able to find a position wherever I want to go, related to whatever field I like.

-          My favorite video game, Factorio, is basically a graphical representation of the programming process.

On the practical side:

-          It’s lucrative. Unlike in education, I wouldn’t have to worry about providing for a family.

-          It’s a large and vital industry—if I can get some experience, I don’t think keeping a job will ever be a problem.

-          I suspect that telecommuting is more common in this field than in most (if not all). For the sake of being healthy and cutting down on transportation costs, I would prefer to be in a field where this is possible.

-          Compared with teaching, I think I would have more time outside of work for my own pursuits.

What are the challenges?

1.       I keenly feel my lack of normal qualifications, which drains my confidence.

2.       The goal of making up for my lack feels nebulous, which drains my motivation.

3.       When I hit a wall in programming, I dread returning to it like I dread calling a stranger.

4.       I’m not in an ideal geographic position for a programming job.

5.       I don’t feel like I’m as creative or tech-savvy as a lot of people in the field. My natural inclination is more “ignore or tolerate problems” rather than “find a way to fix them”.

How do I approach these challenges?

1.       Build confidence through success. If I can produce something, I can feel confident about my abilities. Even if it’s not something original, or it’s not exactly what I want, just producing something should boost confidence.

2.       Make specific goals. Find a dream job, look at the qualifications, and work toward them.

3.       Take a break, brainstorm a list of possible solutions, start with the easy ones and work on until the problem is solved. Ask questions on a website if necessary.

4.       This is not a challenge. I would be happy to move away (within a reasonable distance), and it’s likely that in a year’s time I’ll feel this sentiment even more keenly.

5.       Eh, this is just negativity. I also know that I’m more tech-savvy (at least, by nature) than some people who are in the field, and I believe creativity can be cultivated and practiced.

Looks good, I’ll continue thinking about this tomorrow.

Another thought I’ve had—one thing I appreciate about dating websites is that it gives me an opportunity to evaluate who I am. I tend to err on the side of caution in most things, even in giving statements about myself, lest they prove untrue. Even so, in some aspects I tend to write what I want to be true more than what is true (for example, reading on a typical Friday night when video games are a more frequent reality). So I think I need to try doing this so that I can keep my goals in mind:

I am a beloved child of God who requests and receives forgiveness of sins because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. I seek wisdom from God every day.

I have a lot to contribute to society, and I intend to do that in part through a career in education or computer science, which I’m preparing for now.

I can interact with people confidently based on the facts above and by keeping in mind that they are also loved by God and therefore I too love them. I am interested in their lives, marvel at the gifts that God has given them, and look for ways to serve them.

I love learning about God’s creation and the way He has worked in the world through history and science. I revel in the beauty of music and the complexity and logic of math and language.

That’s what I’ve got so far. Revisions and addenda to come, most likely. For the moment anyway, I’m proud of it.