Friday, July 5, 2019

Observation and slightly improved life


This morning I really hated my job and didn’t want to go to work. My boss was observing my first class, and I had some things to prepare for it and didn’t feel confident that things would go well. In the end they didn’t, but even so I feel better about my job. I was stressed this morning and yesterday, even though there wasn’t really anything to worry about.

I started re-reading the best Twilight fanfiction, which I’ve only read once before because it gets really intense. The beginning was quite slow, but it’s picking up in pace, and I’m enjoying it more than I expected. I also have been stressed because in Factorio I started being attacked my aliens, so I have been trying to think of a way to fix that problem, but yesterday I cleared out a small nest of them and walled in my factory, and I haven’t had any problems with them since. I set up mining and trains for all the ores, so tonight I’m going to build crushed ore processing—ferric, cupric, iron, copper, tin, and lead stations. If I have time after that I’ll make flotation areas.

On Wednesday I received an email from my pastor asking to meet with me at once. I was very busy on Wednesday, but less busy yesterday and yet I didn’t respond to him. I don’t know how to respond. I don’t really mind meeting him, but I don’t want to meet him at my house because I need to clean, and coming up with an alternative is daunting. But maybe I can just tell him that and it will be okay.

I said I was better a couple of weeks ago. I think it’s true—I am studying Japanese somewhat consistently, and I’m talking to my parents, and generally feel happy. But my motivation has only marginally improved, enough to study Japanese 10 minutes a day and keep in contact with my parents, and that takes just about all of my willpower. I managed to go out to eat with David last weekend, but it took a lot of willpower, and if David hadn’t cancelled our trip to the game center, I might have done so first, or maybe just never contacted him.

Today I feel like drinking something. This weekend I really need to get my hair cut and I need to work on the reservations for touring around Matsumoto. Surely I’ll get some of it done.

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