I've had two ideas while sitting here, reflecting on how I want to direct my energy during this break and then into the next year. I made a post about my New Year's resolutions a month and a half ago already, and I still completely agree with the content there: continue waking up early and keeping a journal; start (back) exercising regularly and improve my spiritual life. I want to add two things to that--no more fanfiction and no more video games.
As I've mentioned before, video games are a drug and if I get sucked into one, it's like a poison on my time and it robs me of the pleasure of other activities because I can only think about getting back to playing games. Since I've been waking up earlier in the mornings, I've often used the extra time to play video games. And for the most part I don't even enjoy them that much (Factorio being the exception and even that becomes tedious)--it's just something I do when I have free time and don't want to do anything difficult, and then I get sucked into the goals I make for the games. But life is remarkable not for what is easy, but for what is difficult, and thus I should press myself to forego what is easy if at all possible. Eh, that probably is not true, but anyway...
As for fanfiction, there are many reasons to stop reading it. First, it tends to make me dissatisfied with my own life, whether through showcasing an extraordinary romance or extraordinary abilities which I can only envy. Second, many stories tend to have content that I should avoid, and doing so should help my spiritual life as well. Third, it's very seldom memorable or thought-provoking, which is the main reason to read in the first place. Fourth, it sometimes disrupts my sleep. There are probably more reasons, too.
So! I can't just give something up and expect that to be the end, especially when it occupied a considerable chunk of my time--I need to find a substitute for it. So first, for fanfiction--I'm going to allow myself to purchase books without guilt for as long as I'm not reading fanfiction. I'll need some more guidelines about this, because otherwise the guilt will probably come regardless of what I tell myself. I think it's a fair rule for me to buy a new book once I've finished another one, but sometimes there will be a book that I bought and end up not wanting to read, or I won't be in the mood for that particular kind of reading. So maybe I'll have three categories of books--history, fiction, and other non-fiction--that I can read together at any time, and once I finish one I can buy a new one in that category. If I start one of the books and don't feel like reading it again, then after, say, two weeks, I can buy a new one in that category. Alternatively, I think my coworker last year had some sort of Kindle library service. That would probably be cheaper than buying a new book every week or so. I'll look into it.
As for video games, I shouldn't really have much time because I'll have graduate school, but procrastination will happen at some level no matter what, I need to find something that is fun and relaxing enough that I can do it when I don't want to study, and yet more productive and less absorbing than video games. Actually I don't really have an idea about this right now. Programming would be ideal, but I really have to be in the right mood to find pleasure in it, and if I run into a significant snag, that's the end of it. Watching anime would not be the worst solution, but with my current internet connection it may just be an exercise in patience, which would land me back where I started. It's worth a try, and the price is reasonable, but what else could I do? I really should get back into climbing--that would keep me busy for the most part until I go home. If I could do anything, I think I would do some kind of craft like pottery or sewing, but that's not an option right now. I could play violin, but it's really frustrating at times and not particularly relaxing. I think whatever I do, it needs to be something that I can start without too much effort, see what needs to be done without too much effort, and feel a sense of achievement from what I do. Another idea is those coloring books for adults. I would have to buy colored pencils, but that's a modest investment compared to most possibilities. I'll keep thinking about it.
One of the problems with these two resolutions is that I'm not sure how to give them up completely. I think video games have merits in motivation at least, and I'm interesting in exploring the social aspect of them, which I have neglected in my life. I have a game night planned for next week with my coworkers, and I told a friend that when I go back to the US we can play together. Also, I'd like to keep my visual novels available because I hope to finish them one day, so it's not like I can completely wipe Steam from my computer. As for fanfiction, I can unsubscribe from updates and take the app off my phone, but I'm just a google search away from finding them again. So I guess I'll just have to find interesting books to read so that I won't want to read fanfiction.
Here's my idea for video games--every day that I can journal, I'll write something that I did instead of playing video games. I'm not really sure how that is going to work, but it seems motivational to me at this moment, so I'll give it a shot. I'll also tell my parents--I'm substantially more likely to commit to something if I tell someone else about it.
As I've mentioned before, video games are a drug and if I get sucked into one, it's like a poison on my time and it robs me of the pleasure of other activities because I can only think about getting back to playing games. Since I've been waking up earlier in the mornings, I've often used the extra time to play video games. And for the most part I don't even enjoy them that much (Factorio being the exception and even that becomes tedious)--it's just something I do when I have free time and don't want to do anything difficult, and then I get sucked into the goals I make for the games. But life is remarkable not for what is easy, but for what is difficult, and thus I should press myself to forego what is easy if at all possible. Eh, that probably is not true, but anyway...
As for fanfiction, there are many reasons to stop reading it. First, it tends to make me dissatisfied with my own life, whether through showcasing an extraordinary romance or extraordinary abilities which I can only envy. Second, many stories tend to have content that I should avoid, and doing so should help my spiritual life as well. Third, it's very seldom memorable or thought-provoking, which is the main reason to read in the first place. Fourth, it sometimes disrupts my sleep. There are probably more reasons, too.
So! I can't just give something up and expect that to be the end, especially when it occupied a considerable chunk of my time--I need to find a substitute for it. So first, for fanfiction--I'm going to allow myself to purchase books without guilt for as long as I'm not reading fanfiction. I'll need some more guidelines about this, because otherwise the guilt will probably come regardless of what I tell myself. I think it's a fair rule for me to buy a new book once I've finished another one, but sometimes there will be a book that I bought and end up not wanting to read, or I won't be in the mood for that particular kind of reading. So maybe I'll have three categories of books--history, fiction, and other non-fiction--that I can read together at any time, and once I finish one I can buy a new one in that category. If I start one of the books and don't feel like reading it again, then after, say, two weeks, I can buy a new one in that category. Alternatively, I think my coworker last year had some sort of Kindle library service. That would probably be cheaper than buying a new book every week or so. I'll look into it.
As for video games, I shouldn't really have much time because I'll have graduate school, but procrastination will happen at some level no matter what, I need to find something that is fun and relaxing enough that I can do it when I don't want to study, and yet more productive and less absorbing than video games. Actually I don't really have an idea about this right now. Programming would be ideal, but I really have to be in the right mood to find pleasure in it, and if I run into a significant snag, that's the end of it. Watching anime would not be the worst solution, but with my current internet connection it may just be an exercise in patience, which would land me back where I started. It's worth a try, and the price is reasonable, but what else could I do? I really should get back into climbing--that would keep me busy for the most part until I go home. If I could do anything, I think I would do some kind of craft like pottery or sewing, but that's not an option right now. I could play violin, but it's really frustrating at times and not particularly relaxing. I think whatever I do, it needs to be something that I can start without too much effort, see what needs to be done without too much effort, and feel a sense of achievement from what I do. Another idea is those coloring books for adults. I would have to buy colored pencils, but that's a modest investment compared to most possibilities. I'll keep thinking about it.
One of the problems with these two resolutions is that I'm not sure how to give them up completely. I think video games have merits in motivation at least, and I'm interesting in exploring the social aspect of them, which I have neglected in my life. I have a game night planned for next week with my coworkers, and I told a friend that when I go back to the US we can play together. Also, I'd like to keep my visual novels available because I hope to finish them one day, so it's not like I can completely wipe Steam from my computer. As for fanfiction, I can unsubscribe from updates and take the app off my phone, but I'm just a google search away from finding them again. So I guess I'll just have to find interesting books to read so that I won't want to read fanfiction.
Here's my idea for video games--every day that I can journal, I'll write something that I did instead of playing video games. I'm not really sure how that is going to work, but it seems motivational to me at this moment, so I'll give it a shot. I'll also tell my parents--I'm substantially more likely to commit to something if I tell someone else about it.
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