Satisfactory

I was set to have another miserable end of the week yesterday with several unfinished assignments on the last day, but I somehow did a decent job with most of them. One of them I decided to put off today. I could have made something up, but I didn’t feel right about that, and I really wanted to take my time and do a good job on it. It might be difficult to finish today, but it’s going to be my main goal, and I’m definitely going to do it.

Obviously, I’ve been in a fugue of unproductivity for the past four weeks. Most of that time was spent in Rimworld, but then I bought two more games. One didn’t keep my attention long, but the second one, Satisfactory, is like a fusion of Subnautica and Factorio. It’s dangerous, and I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time on it. Before I found Satisfactory, I actually wrote a good long two-page post, expressing my frustrations and struggles and doubts, but I didn’t post it right away and my computer deleted it when it decided to shut down. Apparently autosave only works if you give it a location on the cloud—how stupid. Anyway, that discouraged me from making an effort again anytime soon.

Today I had coffee for the first time in a few days, and I also woke up early. I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep, but Saturday night I did, so maybe that helped too. Whatever the cause, I was extremely motivated. First thing, I put the third coat of sealer on my table, and then I channeled this motivation to my factory. However, I was feeling too good for that to hold my attention for very long. I’m going to give an informational speech about memory (this is related to the assignment that is overdue), and doing some preliminary research about that further increased my motivation to have a good day.

I have three strategies in mind to avoid relapse. First, stop making video games a sinful pleasure, with an emphasis on sin. Whenever I feel bad about myself, it becomes my default way to avoid confronting my discomfort. I need to see it as an acceptable but suboptimal way to pass the time. Second, change my study position to somewhere with more scrutiny. Ideally, I would be in this location for a set time period every day, and at other times I would be free to move around. Third, ask my parents to help me stay away from game binging. Accountability works, as much as I hate it.

Another thought—I waste entirely too much time forgetting what I memorize. I should try the memory palace, even though I think my spatial intelligence is too poor to make it worthwhile. I want to get back into scheduling my day—I think it worked really well as long as I did it, and I lost my drive quickly when I stopped.