A gap year?

I thought about New Year’s Resolutions around Christmas, and then completely forgot about them until yesterday. I don’t think I have done that in a long time, at least not while I’ve been in the US. I still don’t have any at the moment, but I may come up with some in the next few days. Today is going to be a day of reflection and some looking forward. I’ve been sick since Friday, probably with covid, but I won’t know for sure until later this week because I’m just getting the tests done today. We had a long weekend already, and then we had an ice storm on Saturday night that is far from melting. Even if I didn’t have covid and school was in session, my symptoms are noticeable enough that I would be very reluctant to go. All that to say, I decided to log my thoughts for the day, because I’m unusually clear-minded. I was thinking about writing this around the time of my birthday, but chances are good that I will have forgotten by then. So here are my reflections.

I said on my 33^rd birthday that I expected to be able to start my life’s work, like Jesus did. Heh. Obviously, that didn’t work for me, and why should it? God certainly does not have the same plan for me that he did for Jesus. Anyway, by all accounts my 33^rd year (and I think I can project all the way to the end of it) was a gap year. I spent most of it doing electrical work as a complete novice, and though I learned a lot, there hasn’t been any firm progression in terms of titles, certifications, etc. My last raise was at the end of May, to $13/hour, which is probably less than I would make after 90 days at most fast-food places in the current job climate. I enjoyed the work, but I can’t see myself doing it for more than ten years as a full-time job, and the job environment was rather negative (though that could have just been the company I was at). I really liked the hours, the combination of intellectual and manual challenges, and the fact that there was rarely any work outside the job site. Oh, and the tools. I liked the tools, maybe a little too much.

What did I learn in my 33^rd year? I learned that hospital bills are expensive, seemingly never-ending, and to be avoided as much as possible (thanks, kidney stone). I learned that I could live off $13/hour, although having a reasonable living arrangement made it more feasible. Thanks to my job in electrical work, I learned that a consistent sleep routine is highly underrated. I feel so much better when I follow the routine of winding down at 8, start reading by 8:30, and read until 9:30 or I am tired.

In Florida, I learned a lot about trusting in God to be my strength. I listened to two books that challenged me immensely: Desiring God and Knowing God. I think I’ve read the latter before, but it is so dense and expansive that I need to read it a dozen more times at least. Desiring God, though, echoes my conviction about the necessity of God being first in my life at all times, which is also the most difficult practice. I have read the Bible too, and I think that is important, but maybe I am not spiritually mature enough to meditate on it and draw meaning from it alone. I need something else to help me apply it. So, if I were to reflect on my spiritual life of the past year and determine a resolution from it, that resolution would be to be constantly reading a book that addresses my faith in God. With that, I project that the rest (prayer, Bible reading, memorization) will come naturally because it will be in my thoughts.

I have built two tables in the last year, and I am thoroughly convinced that finishing is the most difficult part of woodworking. Maybe next time I will remember to try staining and sealing before assembly and that will make it much easier. The first table (my coffee table) has a very messy finish. I think that if I get an itch to do woodworking in the next couple of months, I might try re-doing the entire tabletop. That’s not likely to happen because Mom already wants me to do a mirror frame as well as a couple of electrical projects at her house, and those take priority.

My original plan for post-student-teaching was to consider a post in teaching if I liked it enough and could find one in an amenable location. Otherwise, I would look for a job in electrical work. Now that my brother is an IT recruiter, though, he has encouraged me to return to looking for programming jobs because they are easy to come by. Honestly, I would feel much better putting another year in electrical work, getting my residential license, and then getting a job as a programming contractor with electrical side jobs. In my life, though, the timing never goes the way I want it, so I think I will just have to seize the opportunity for a programming job if I manage to have one. With that in mind, I plan to do some review on my programming skills while I’m student-teaching. I think that will come after I finish this table, and possibly after I do mom’s playroom lights.

For the past two weeks I’ve been distracted by an idle game. I haven’t spent a ton of time on it like I would an active game, but I’m sure it has consumed way more time than it deserves. Furthermore, I don’t know if it is the guilt or the game itself, but it distracts me from spending time with God (and other worthy pursuits too, most likely). Why do I play stupid games? Because I don’t have enough other tasks to do, or because I feel like I deserve a relaxing activity. Therefore, I need to find something to do that is a relaxing treat, and I need to find something that can always keep me busy. Woodworking could be good for the first, but it tends to overwhelm my living room so that I feel like all my recreational time has to be spent on it. Programming would be a good option for the second, especially if I tell myself that I can spend money on it by taking Udemy courses. That seems like a really good idea, as long as I am discerning in my choice of the courses.