Careers and Consequences

Before the updates on my life, I have to bring up the fact that half the reason I have continued to blog for as long as I have is because of my grandfather. He has now passed away. I was never close to him--I sent him emails two or three times a year, and visited once or twice a year when I was in the country. He was an interesting person, though it was seldom apparent to me. He was very strict in his household and didn't have great relationships with his children, but he seemed to have a lot of charisma elsewhere. He had interests in many different fields. To be honest, I don't know how he continued living as long as he did. As far as I could tell, he lived for people. He had a couple of relationships after Grandma died, and they seemed very important to him, but I don't think there were any special ones in the last four years. I don't think I could do that. If God gives me the strength to live that long, I think that I would need a cause to sustain me past a certain point. Anyway, although I was not close to him, I doubt that I will ever write a blogpost without thinking about Grandpa. I do miss him.

I have now been at my job of HVAC controls wiring for 7 weeks. The job is not difficult, but there are many things I don't understand. I've been hopping around to many different jobs in various phases of completion. I'm hoping that if I come on to a job and see it from beginning to end, I will have a much better idea of how everything works--that is mostly what happened when I was doing electrical. I am eager to get to the point where I am less dependent on the job lead to assign tasks--I want to be able to look at what needs to be done and be able to do it. Also, it's a little frustrating that we don't get to see the effects of what we do. We wire up the HVAC systems so that they can be controlled through thermostats and such, but they don't work until the technicians come in and troubleshoot them, which is usually after we have left the job (apparently). In electrical, we got to see lights come on and outlets work if nothing else.

There are many positives about the job, though. The company is dedicated to giving us the tools and support that we need. My coworkers are easy to get along with, and I like working with them for the most part. There is a good deal of flexibility, if it is needed. Our default schedule is four days a week, ten hours a day. I would prefer to have more time to spend every day on tasks outside of work rather than an entire free day, but being saved a 2 hour commute is easily worth the deficit of free time during the work week.

Outside work, life is quite different from how it was when I taught school. On workdays, I generally get home after 6 PM, and by the time I have showered and eaten, it is 7 PM. The book club has been playing Baldur's Gate 2-3 times a week for about 2 hours, so that has eaten some of that time. Otherwise I generally play video games for an hour, and then I read until I fall asleep. On the weekends, I have mostly cooked or played video games. It has become very apparent how easy it is to live by myself and for myself. I'm not sure why this sense was less apparent when I was teaching. Perhaps I felt too busy, or perhaps I felt that I was contributing sufficiently by being a teacher.

Given that I no longer feel obligated to devote almost every waking hour to improving my lesson plans, I have come to re-evaluate where I find value in my life. Relevant to that--since I generally commute around 45 minutes to work each way, I've spent that time listening to John Piper books and sermons. I've been continuously convicted that my way of life is self-centered and short-sighted. What should be done to change that? I need to be involved in church. I've got a church, but I don't know how to get involved, except for asking outright. Why am I so afraid to do that? The reception can only be positive. I don't know. Outside that, I need to get back to studying Bible verses. It's an easy thing that could be done even during breaks at work. I'd like to get involved in some sort of volunteering activity, but I might just become a substitute at school--that would be sufficient, I think.

Although I'm not fond of the commute length, I do like having my thoughts refocused by the sermons that I hear. I wish that I would stop passing judgment on the value of the sermons and instead pass judgment on how well I heard the message. I would like to pray more. 

I am still drinking a fair bit. I thought I was doing better, and my unofficial rule was that I would only buy straight gin or rum. But it's difficult to go to a store (looking for a particular rum) and not buy anything, especially when there are things that I want to buy. This past week I went buy a store that had almost everything I have heard of, and many things that I had never seen. I bought way too much, so now I'm back to thinking--"Wow, I have too much alcohol."

Next Friday, I hope to work on investigating morgage preapproval. I have been looking at houses to purchase for several months now. On the other hand, I realized that cooking for Mom and Dad gives me an excuse and a reason to enjoy cooking more as well as veer away from video games. We shall see. I intend to update again at the end of the year. I will recap, report on church and service involvement, and express hopes for the year 2025.