Double holiday week

Last weekend it was raining hard on Friday and I felt tired, so I postponed my Matsumoto trip until Saturday. That day I went and bought some new clothes—two turtlenecks, a sweater, a cardigan, and a pair of shorts. I’m pretty happy with them. Next I met my friend around 4:15. She wanted to meet in the afternoon, but in the end we weren’t really sure what to do until dinner. We ended up going to a sports bar, ostensibly to watch the Australia vs. England match, but we mostly just talked and she didn’t get to watch much of the game. Next we went to a Japanese-French fusion restaurant. We tried escargot—it tasted fine, mainly garlic and butter, but the look and consistency was not very nice. It was very similar to a chewy mushroom, but I couldn’t convince myself of that and only ate two. We also had curry, which was good but not special.

This week is a weird week. Yesterday I was off work to celebrate the new emperor of Japan. I wasted most of the day on Oxygen Not Included, but I did manage to go shopping, make dinner, and I had a nice climbing session too. Today is a normal Wednesday, but tomorrow I’m supposed to be off as well. I’m feeling really guilty about it, because I don’t think I should be, but at this point the only thing I could do is tell my boss, who might make me come into work on some project at the eikaiwa.

I keep flip-flopping between happiness to be in Japan and a desire to return home. The fact that it’s not solely the latter is, I think, a good indication of how much I enjoy being in Japan. But I also keep thinking about finding a job making something. I’m probably idealizing it, and I need to find some way to make it more real so that I don’t make it such a be all and end all based merely off thoughts in my head.

Almost every Sunday for the past two months I have been planning to go to church, but I have yet to actually go. There are several reasons I think. For practically the entire year I have been unsatisfied with morning devotions, and have barely done them. Next, I have fallen out of the habit and simply find it easy to stay in bed. I don’t want to have to explain my absence, because I don’t think I have a good explanation. And finally, I simply don’t want to continue to experience the frustration of failing to establish meaningful relationships with people.