Escapism

I'm tired of doing things that have no significance. I'm tired of the escapism that sits at my doorstep and bounds inside at the slightest hint of an invitation. I distract myself from the discomfort of living and being around people, which ultimately makes me feel worse, because I am contradicting what I claim to be my identity. What can I do? If I didn't know it before, I am convinced that it is not in my own power to change the trend that I follow. I have to talk to someone about it.

This fall was a bit crazy. I tried to do too many things and either stressed myself out or played video games to avoid thinking about what I ought to be doing instead. I've managed to make it through, but not without some casualties.

First, I started taking 11 credits of classes for the electrical engineering technology degree. I studied electrical circuits, logic circuits, and physics I: mechanics. I enjoyed all the classes, although I found some of the instructions to be excessively vague in the circuits classes. The grading seemed too easy, as well. Physics was much more demanding and satisfying. It did, however, frustrate me frequently when I would do a long math problem, get an incorrect answer, and have no clue where I went wrong. Ultimately I did well in the classes, but I did have to drop the one-credit logic circuits lab, mostly because I did not understand the assignments, but also because I was struggling to keep up.

School probably would have been easy, except on the second week, some big changes happened at work, and I became responsible for a couple of projects--job plans related to CIW and software backups. Thus, my free time at work went from about 6 hours to maybe 2 hours. This is a preferable state of affairs, but I had counted on it not happening at least until January, so it was a rude awakening.

I also closed on the house. The closing was kind of sudden, and I should not have gone through with it, but I was being pressured and thought I could trust my realtor. As they say, trust but verify. The house is not in bad condition by any means, but a lot of the finishing touches were rushed. The cabinets were not finished, and a lot of cosmetic details were neglected. Overall, I am happy with the house. It has taken a lot of work to buy everything and supply it to feel like a home. I'm still working on that--the walls are bare, and though I had never thought much about wall decor before, the lack grates on me now. I also have no kitchen furniture yet, so that is a priority.

Two days after closing, I went to Kentucky with Jordan's family and Cody. It was a quite enjoyable trip overall. I particularly liked Lexington and Cincinnati. Highlights included the speak-easy in Lexington, the best whiskey cocktail at Michter's, an fascinating tour of Buffalo Trace, and Oktoberfest in Cincinnati. It may sound like we did nothing but drink, and it is true that most of our activities revolved around alcohol, but we mostly just tasted. It was also fun to play party games back at the house we rented.

In October, Mom, Dad, and I went to Norfolk, VA. There was a great museum around a battleship. We took a bicycle ride through town, and accidentally got on the highway. We visited a very large botanical garden. We happened upon a meadery, and while the mead was just okay, we got a lot of samples of both the honey and the mead and learned how the mead was made. The honey was very good and interesting in its variety of flavor profiles.

In November, we went to Nashville for Katie's wedding, then Warm Springs for Thanksgiving. I danced a lot at the wedding. I'm afraid it might be the last time I dance like that. I played with Madelyn for most of Thanksgiving. She was fun and has matured a lot since the last time I was around her.

I was told of a cool area in Pittsboro that has a variety of shops, including a meadery. I went to check it out with Cody. The mead there is much better than any other mead I've had in the US, except maybe the homemade kind that I had in college. Pittsboro is just far enough away that I won't be making the trip often, but if I did go, it wouldn't feel like I wasted a whole evening.

I've been exercising more lately. I'm trying to get up to five times a week--three days focused on strength and two on aerobic exercises. My alcohol consumption has diminished, although I keep thinking that Friday night means I need to indulge. Satisfying that "need" has not actually been satisfying, so hopefully that trend has ceased as of this weekend.

Back to my internal dilemma. I have barely attended church for the past four months, and I have avoided people when I do. Avoiding people has become the reason for not going to church. I was supposed to go to a type of meeting (not church-related) this past week, but I distracted myself until I could justify not attending. It is similar to the behavior of an addict, except it's more of an addiction of absence than presence. Working on this will be my priority for the new year. I'm not going to bother with any other resolutions--there's nothing nearly as important. I will come up with strategies to accomplish this resolution, though.

New House

I'll start with the biggest news: I put an offer on a house on June 10th. It's not exactly what I wanted, but it meets almost all my minimum requirements, and I think it's a suitable house for where I am now in life. The two main disadvantages are that it is 30 minutes away from the nearest church that I would attend, and that it has no garage (and adding one may be difficult). Aside from that, I am happy with the location. It is less than 15 minutes from work, and within a couple of miles of most essentials: groceries, pharmacy, gas, etc. It's an unfinished house, which has resulted in delays, but on the other hand I was able to pick out the paint, flooring, appliances, and cabinets. My initial closing date was July 25th, but the date has been pushed back several times, mainly because the power company has had difficulty getting the power to the site. Supposedly they successfully managed to connect the power yesterday, so there should only be a couple of weeks left before I can finally close.

At work, we moved to the 803 building, but mainly stayed in trailers. Then, a couple of weeks ago, we finally moved into the building itself. The building is not very comfortable, and we're not doing much more work, but things have become a little more professional and engaging. We have been installing devices in panels, which takes up two hours per day or so. I also helped to reorganize the whiteboard, and currently my main project is to contribute to the morning meetings with safety topics.

Even so, there is a decent amount of down time, and I'm not doing as much outside of work either. So I have enrolled in an electrical engineering technology program online. I am quite excited about it. I don't know which courses I will take yet, but I am hoping that it will be physics and electrical circuits. This morning I realized that for my whole life I have not gone for more than three years without attending school.

On the sadder side of change, I have been noticing an effect on my hair due to aging. I actually have had nightmares about losing hair since I turned thirty, but I didn't really think it would happen until I was at least forty. I first noticed the diminishing coverage on a picture that was put on the wall of the middle school of me showing some students how to do something. As I am bent over with the top of my head toward the camera, my scalp is somewhat noticeable. I felt that it was not too bad as long as I didn't intentially point the top of my head at someone. Then about a year ago I started wearing hats. Shortly thereafter I noticed that when my hair was stuck together, my scalp was visible in streaks. I feel that it has gotten worse since then. It's depressing, but I know there is not much that I can do about it. It has sapped a bit of my care for my appearance, I have noticed.

As far as entertainment goes, I spent a couple of months playing Factorio devotedly. I beat the game with the space age expansion, and aside from making megabases and extravagent spaceships, I feel that I have done just about everything I wanted to do. Possibly related, I have slept very poorly for most of the summer. In July I averaged 5.5 hours of sleep. Somehow I didn't feel fatigue too much, but I'm concerned about other effects. Exercising fell by the wayside for 5-6 weeks also. I've been playing Abiotic Factor with the book club irregularly. It's a really cool game and I would like to do more, but I need to prioritize sleep. Last week I decided that I would go bouldering. That served as an impetus to return to working out. When I went to the gym, I was impressed with how clean, welcoming, and uncrowded it was. I enjoyed it, though I was also frustrated at how quickly I got tired and became unable to climb anymore. I built a shelf in the garage for batteries. I've been reading webfiction mostly. I read through the first nine books of Cradle, but I have stalled on the tenth one.

Coming up: I'll be moving into my house and taking a few trips in September and October.

Housing is a pain

I had a dentist appointment scheduled for today, so I decided to take the whole day off, my first since I started at Toyota. I kind of wish that I had not, because I'm really antsy. The Dunkin' Donuts breakfast I got after the appointment could be the primary cause, but I think even without it I would be struggling to find an outlet for my time. Next Monday is Memorial Day, so I get that off also, but at least Mom and Dad will be home then.

During my third week at RCC, I was contacted by my group leader, and I went to the plant the next week (April 14th). I've been in building 801 in the five weeks since then, with the exception of a couple days in 802. Several people have expressed their confusion that I am working in the hybrid battery building (801) when I am intended to work in the electric battery building (803) where the machinery is completely different. I agree that it does not appear very logical, but I am happy to have the opportunity to become familiar with the industrial environment in a low-pressure situation. I did find out today that we will be working in 803 starting Wednesday.

What have I learned? I have become slightly familiar with HMIs (human-machine interfaces) which are used to operate the machinery. I've become acquainted with the operations of several pumps. The beginning of the battery-making process, which we call electrode, has become very familiar to me because that is where I have been working. Despite some negativity, I still hear that Toyota is a great company that offers many potential avenues of success. Frustrations with bureaucratic processes continue to emerge, particularly because I have yet to receive a company device with which I could be contributing and fulfilling more duties, but these are completely within expectations.

Bible memory continues apace. I have started memorizing Romans 10. Most mornings on the way to work I listening to Romans 5-10 and try to say it along with the recording. This has helped retention considerably, although I'm not sure that I could say it without the recording in its entirety. I will have to devise another test or aid to reach the highest level of memorization--unprompted recitation.

As for other side pursuits, my interest in Satisfactory petered out, then I played a bullet heaven game for a couple of weeks. Now I'm revisiting the idle Kittens Game, but otherwise trying to avoid video games. I would like to read a visual novel to improve my Japanese, though. For the past few weeks I have been doing better about exercising, too. I jogged/walked all the way from the house to the car repair place, and that accomplishment inspired me to challenge myself more in that area. I haven't made much progress with the theology books or the historical narrative that is our next book club book, but I intend to change that in the near future. Oh, I watched a cooking video earlier today and was wowed by the person's knife skills. Developing my knife skills would decrease the time it takes to cook things considerably, so I intend to pursue this improvement.

I have given up liquor almost entirely, but in its place I've been drinking beer. It's harder to drink too much beer, but unfortunately I have been drinking it too often. It has probably been affecting my sleep, so I'm going to give it up, at least for a while. In its place, I ordered some tea. I intend to make tea my guilty indulgence, which is at least half the reason I drink beer--I feel like I deserve something indulgent at the end of a workday/workweek.

Wow, all that before I finally get to the topic that has been of greatest concern to me for the past weeks: the problem of housing. Honestly, in my price range, I haven't seen any house that fits my requirements. I've looked at seven houses, and the two that I think I could live with still present some serious concerns. Honestly, I would rather buy land and customize, but I feel that at this point I know so little about homeownership that doing so would be too overwhelming. Plus, going that way seems like it might become more expensive than I can handle, because there are so many disparate costs required before the house is even viable. I have only looked seriously for about a month, but already I want to throw up my hands in frustration. I think my next step should be talking to an acquaintance who is more knowledgable about this sort of thing.

Starting at Toyota

So, the big news--how is Toyota? It's a completely different mindset from anywhere else I've worked. That's probably because it's so much bigger. I could see that creating many difficulties, but Toyota places such strong emphasis on systems that the potential problems should be able to be avoided or resolved, or so I believe. Resolution does tend to take a while, though, from what I've seen. 

There are several things I have heard over and over that I am very excited about:

• Toyota is a fantastic company
• There is plenty of training
• There are paths designed for transfer to other positions

My first two weeks were an orientation, focused on creating the culture that people want to have from the beginning. I met several people, but I mostly hung out with the other maintenance guys. They are generally a great group of people I think--quite fun. After orientation, we spent two weeks at the community college, mostly taking safety classes to prepare us for being at the plant. That period ended yesterday, but most of us still did not have team assignments yet (including me), so we will be back at the college on Monday.

There is so much more I could say, but I guess I should have made daily notes because those things are not coming to me now. So for now, let's go back to before I started at Toyota. I ended up only subbing two days out of the three weeks I was unemployed. I should have subbed another 1-2 days, but I got sick. I wish I had been able to sub more, but I was fairly productive with my time off--cleaning, organizing, and investigating houses. Oh, I also tried to help out with some 3D printing and scanning for a couple of days.

Bible memory has gone well. I have a 60 day streak and have nearly finished learning (or rather, starting to learn) Romans 8. Church, prayer, and Bible reading have not been as consistent. I haven't missed a morning service except when I was sick, but I haven't consistently attended the evening services. My reading has veered toward webfiction. I did purchase some books recommended in the systematic theology class at church, but I haven't read much of them yet. I've been cooking a good bit, even during the work week. When I don't have anything else to do, I have been playing Satisfactory. I don't get sucked in as much as I did for Factorio, though--I find it hard to play for more than two hours at a time. I think it's because my new way of playing is to make modular factories that are visually appealing and logical, which involves a whole lot more than just finding sources and connecting machines with conveyer belts.

Now that I feel confident about my career future, I have been researching houses. By my next post--hopefully in early summer--I hope to have a plan for acquiring my own residence. I've been looking at houses that are already built, but they rarely have the features I like, whereas new modular home designs are more in the style that I want. A modular home would require that I have land, which adds considerable complexity to the already intimidating process of acquiring a house.

God is good

It's 2025. I can't believe it. I'm 36 years old, all too rapidly approaching 40, and there are so many aspects of my character and life that are less mature than they should be at this point. I have to hold on to the promise that "He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion until the day of Jesus Christ."

As mentioned, I started applying for a new job in the new year. In particular, after looking around, I decided that I was only interested in working at ABB, and I felt that with my connection there, I should be able to get my foot in the door without great difficulty. Well, after 3 weeks I was rejected from the job I had applied for. Internal investigation revealed that I had applied for a position that was already filled, and thus had to reapply for a different position. (Even though it was technically the same position, the number which identified the position in the system was different). After doing that, the job offer came within 10 days, and I gave notice of my resignation at my current job shortly thereafter.

The new job offered several perks that excited me. It involved wiring, which I enjoy--following diagrams to wire equipment was one of my favorite things about electrical work, and that was the bulk of what I would be doing as I understood it. Of course it was a manufacturing job, which means to me consistency in hours, location, and expectations. I was looking forward to being able to move to Mebane as well as knowing my exact route to work every day. Also, it was a second-shift job. That meant less traffic on my commute, the ability to go to school in the mornings, and less crowded outings on mornings when I did not have school. On the other hand, I was a bit intimidated by the promise of overtime. As much as I enjoy wiring, I know that it can be tough on hand muscles and frustrating in conjunction with considerable fatigue. The possibility of doing it ten hours a day for multiple days in a row certainly inspired some trepidation.

Nevertheless, I was excited to begin this job on Monday, until I received a call about 5 PM yesterday (the Friday before). I was offered a position at Toyota, nine and a half months after my application, and after hearing nothing from them for about six months. In my surprise I nearly had second thoughts, but I did end up accepting the offer.

The delay in this offer caused me considerable frustration and uncertainty in the last eight months. There is an obvious practical reason that Toyota waited this long--they needed to get the first production line up and running, and I didn't have the experience to be on the first line. Why couldn't they have told me that I might have to wait until January or February? I'm not sure, but I believe that God used it for my good. I don't believe in pigeonholing His reasons with my narrow understanding, but here are some thoughts I had for why it might be for my good:

• I used some of the time to take classes at ACC, which was a tremendously edifying experience, one that I believe will serve me to great advantage in this position.
• I was able to work at Brady, which I regard as a great company. Despite all the company's good qualities, though, I became convinced that field work was not amenable to my disposition, leading me to renounce my ambition for an electrical license. I may not have been convinced of this by working at a different company.
• Perhaps God was able to use me at Brady in some way for encouragement of others. I feel that this might have happened.
• If I had known that I only needed short-term work, I probably would have worked in general contracting. While I might have learned more, I would have been paid less and, as implied above, held on to a dream of getting an electrical license and always wondered what working for a proper company would be like.
  
  

In other news, I have been attending church regularly since the beginning of the year, and from tomorrow I plan to start going to the evening service as well as Sunday School, which I have attended for a few weeks. I had fully intended to join this church, but now I'm a little hesitant given that I won't be living in Mebane anymore. I think I should probably go ahead with it though. There is plenty of possibility that I will move to a place within a reasonable distance from Mebane.

Some updates on my gaming: from mid-September until the new year, my free time was principally consumed by Factorio. I started three different games, and though I never beat the game, I got close twice. After the first and second games, I found ways to optimize my building. By the end of the third game, I was just tired of Factorio. I may return to it someday and beat it, but honestly I hope not. In other video game news, the book club finally beat Baldur's Gate near the end of January. We started playing an action RPG, which is less serious and easier to break off from early in the evening.

Since leaving the obsession of Factorio, I've been reading more. A good bit of webfiction, but also more edifying texts, including Jonathan Edwards, Amusing Ourselves to Death, and as of yesterday, Brave New World. I've also done better with my scripture memory, and I think I might be ready to begin learning new verses again this coming week. If I manage that, I will speak more about my new methods in the next post.

Speaking of next post, I will have 3 weeks before I begin the new job. I have volunteered to sub at school, which I'm excited about, but I doubt they will need me every one of those days. Hence, I should have no excuse not to write something by the time I start the new job. Or perhaps I will start one and finish it soon after beginning the new job. That does sound risky, but we will see.

As promised, the 2024 finale

2024 was the year of leaving education. Now that I've written that sentence, I'd like to go back and do the past years.

2023 - the year of moving back home for the last time (hopefully?)

2022 - the year of the master's degree

2021 - the gap year of electrical work and Christmas decorations in Florida

2020 - the year of leaving Japan (and COVID)

2019 - the year of parents visiting Japan

2018 - the best year in Japan, working in Narakawa

2017 - the year of finishing programming and moving to Japan

2016 - the year of the first apartment (in the US)

2015 - the year of variety (Russia, UNCG classes, Food Lion, Wendy's, NC State, RCC, ACC)

2014 - the year in Russia

2013 - the year of job search frustration

2012 - the year in Vietnam

2011 - the year of the CELTA

2010 - the year of graduation and moving to France

2009 - the year of trajectory horror (multiple failures and reconsidering my goals)

2008 - the year of England and literary exhileration

2007 - the year of college reality

2006 - the year of high school graduation and the ideal college experience

2005 - the year of tech support and programming

2004 - the year of having high school friends

2003 - the year... that the band started? I don't quite remember, and nothing else comes to mind.

2002 - the year of mission trips and Greek and Lord of the Rings figures

2001 - the year of the Washington DC visit

Trying to go earlier would require some research and discussion to give appropriate names to the years. As it is, I'm sure that I forgot something more important. Regardless, that was fun, and I think it will be good for future reference.

I have worked at my current job for nearly 4 months now. I believe that I do understand it more, but compared to two months ago, I am enjoying it less. I've found that for the most part, there isn't much comprehension necessary to get the job done. About 90% of our work is pulling wire or making a path for the wire. It gets monotonous. Still, I think I would be okay with it if my coworkers were less inclined to take every opportunity to avoid working. The job also does not seem to contribute much to career advancement. I'm still listening to sermons during my commute, but it's frustratingly difficult at times to understand the words through the heavy rattling of the van I drive. Furthermore, the 50+ minutes of driving through heavy traffic is getting on my nerves, especially when it gets even longer on the way home from the Raleigh area. I'm planning to actively look for a new job starting next week.

An interesting thing happened two weeks ago--an HR person contacted me. Normally I ignore contacts through a job searching site, but she was looking to hire someone to translate/interpret Japanese in a manufacturing environment. I talked with her on the phone and then I had an interview with the hiring manager which included a brief test of my Japanese skills. He felt that I did well enough to be a good candidate for the translator/interpreter position, but I felt that a job which relied on me talking most of the time in a high-pressure environment would be a nightmare. They had a more technical role available, but he said I didn't have the experience for that. Overall it was a positive, though slightly disappointing event.

Otherwise, not much has happened since the last post. My routines are mostly the same, and I still have not joined a church. Also, I mentioned gaining 5 pounds in my August post--I've decided that that was mostly muscle, given that it has since disappeared and nothing has obviously changed except that I have not exercised. I have thought a lot about things mentioned in my last post, particularly related to the transience of life. I have not acted on my thoughts, though. I hope that by my next post, something will have changed in that regard.

As the new year is approaching, I have to consider my goals. I would say that they have barely changed since last year, except my fitness goal would be more modest while I'm in my current job--once or twice a week. I'm not inclined to retry journaling on a regular basis, nor do I have any DIY projects that I would like to do. There is one thing I think I have improved this year--I haven't spent as much time on webfiction. My current pattern of reading maybe an hour of that type of fiction per week is acceptable. I intend to reduce my video game time to spend more time reading worthwhile books, though.

Careers and Consequences

Before the updates on my life, I have to bring up the fact that half the reason I have continued to blog for as long as I have is because of my grandfather. He has now passed away. I was never close to him--I sent him emails two or three times a year, and visited once or twice a year when I was in the country. He was an interesting person, though it was seldom apparent to me. He was very strict in his household and didn't have great relationships with his children, but he seemed to have a lot of charisma elsewhere. He had interests in many different fields. To be honest, I don't know how he continued living as long as he did. As far as I could tell, he lived for people. He had a couple of relationships after Grandma died, and they seemed very important to him, but I don't think there were any special ones in the last four years. I don't think I could do that. If God gives me the strength to live that long, I think that I would need a cause to sustain me past a certain point. Anyway, although I was not close to him, I doubt that I will ever write a blogpost without thinking about Grandpa. I do miss him.

I have now been at my job of HVAC controls wiring for 7 weeks. The job is not difficult, but there are many things I don't understand. I've been hopping around to many different jobs in various phases of completion. I'm hoping that if I come on to a job and see it from beginning to end, I will have a much better idea of how everything works--that is mostly what happened when I was doing electrical. I am eager to get to the point where I am less dependent on the job lead to assign tasks--I want to be able to look at what needs to be done and be able to do it. Also, it's a little frustrating that we don't get to see the effects of what we do. We wire up the HVAC systems so that they can be controlled through thermostats and such, but they don't work until the technicians come in and troubleshoot them, which is usually after we have left the job (apparently). In electrical, we got to see lights come on and outlets work if nothing else.

There are many positives about the job, though. The company is dedicated to giving us the tools and support that we need. My coworkers are easy to get along with, and I like working with them for the most part. There is a good deal of flexibility, if it is needed. Our default schedule is four days a week, ten hours a day. I would prefer to have more time to spend every day on tasks outside of work rather than an entire free day, but being saved a 2 hour commute is easily worth the deficit of free time during the work week.

Outside work, life is quite different from how it was when I taught school. On workdays, I generally get home after 6 PM, and by the time I have showered and eaten, it is 7 PM. The book club has been playing Baldur's Gate 2-3 times a week for about 2 hours, so that has eaten some of that time. Otherwise I generally play video games for an hour, and then I read until I fall asleep. On the weekends, I have mostly cooked or played video games. It has become very apparent how easy it is to live by myself and for myself. I'm not sure why this sense was less apparent when I was teaching. Perhaps I felt too busy, or perhaps I felt that I was contributing sufficiently by being a teacher.

Given that I no longer feel obligated to devote almost every waking hour to improving my lesson plans, I have come to re-evaluate where I find value in my life. Relevant to that--since I generally commute around 45 minutes to work each way, I've spent that time listening to John Piper books and sermons. I've been continuously convicted that my way of life is self-centered and short-sighted. What should be done to change that? I need to be involved in church. I've got a church, but I don't know how to get involved, except for asking outright. Why am I so afraid to do that? The reception can only be positive. I don't know. Outside that, I need to get back to studying Bible verses. It's an easy thing that could be done even during breaks at work. I'd like to get involved in some sort of volunteering activity, but I might just become a substitute at school--that would be sufficient, I think.

Although I'm not fond of the commute length, I do like having my thoughts refocused by the sermons that I hear. I wish that I would stop passing judgment on the value of the sermons and instead pass judgment on how well I heard the message. I would like to pray more. 

I am still drinking a fair bit. I thought I was doing better, and my unofficial rule was that I would only buy straight gin or rum. But it's difficult to go to a store (looking for a particular rum) and not buy anything, especially when there are things that I want to buy. This past week I went buy a store that had almost everything I have heard of, and many things that I had never seen. I bought way too much, so now I'm back to thinking--"Wow, I have too much alcohol."

Next Friday, I hope to work on investigating morgage preapproval. I have been looking at houses to purchase for several months now. On the other hand, I realized that cooking for Mom and Dad gives me an excuse and a reason to enjoy cooking more as well as veer away from video games. We shall see. I intend to update again at the end of the year. I will recap, report on church and service involvement, and express hopes for the year 2025.

The future is not as it seemed

Here we are at the end of July, overdue because I was hoping to have a more concrete idea of what was coming next. Alas, I do not.

After school finished, I began taking three classes at ACC: motors and controls, fluid mechanics, and quality manufacturing assurance. Overall it was very fun. Motors and controls was especially interesting. I ended up dropping quality manufacturing assurance because while it was interesting, the class content wasn't very cohesive, I didn't like the forum posts, and I felt just a bit overwhelmed doing all three classes (10 total credits in a half semester). My last day of class was two weeks ago.

I went through the hiring process at Toyota starting at the beginning of May. The interviewers and the proctor of my assessment were all encouraging about my chances of being hired, but I have heard nothing relevant for over six weeks despite attempts to contact them. So I finally bit the bullet and started applying to other places on the Friday after ACC classes ended. I was quickly rejected from the mechatronics jobs which were similar to the Toyota position, and I think that was for the best. I only felt good about applying at Toyota because they insisted that they would train me. So since then I have been applying for jobs as an electrician's helper at big electrical companies. I have yet to hear back from any of them, so I think my next step will be to apply at more local electrical companies and use contacts or go to their offices in person.

The opportunity at Toyota got my hopes up, I suppose. Somehow I started thinking that I could be looking into getting my own place in the next few months. Although come to think of it, that was my plan when I originally moved back in with my parents, too--to be out sometime in autumn of 2024. Now it's looking like I will need to be an electrician's helper for at least another year, which means low wages. Actually, looking at the requirements for a license, it seems that I need at least one year of primary experience, which does not include being an electrician's helper. That means it's more likely that I would need two more years of experience before I can get my license. Lovely. I'm not sure where that leaves me in my direction. My natural inclination is to say that I just need to do everything I can to get on with a bigger company so that I can work up through the ranks there. If I start at a smaller company, then I might have to jump ship within a year, and that may or may not be beneficial.

In other news, I went to Hendersonville about a month ago and did some work on my aunt's mother's house, where they are staying now. It was fun, and the next day we did a whirlwind tour of fun (TM) involving hiking, whiskey tasting, pie tasting, mobile home visiting, and restaurants. I also visited Grandpa again. I think that's all the traveling I have done in the past few months?

With regard to my goals, I have not been doing well, especially lately. Losing my regular schedule led to a falling off in June, which slid into July. That goes mainly for Bible reading/prayer/scripture memory. It's time to get back on that. Also, I didn't join a church, which continues to discourage me. I told myself that it was too much of a commitment if I end up moving. I've continued to read for book club and webfiction outside of that. I would like to get back into doing more normal reading--I'm convinced that most fanfiction and webfiction are detrimental. I haven't done any DIY, and obviously I've done very little journaling. I've continued to be consistent in using my calisthenics app about twice a week. I would like to increase that, especially when I'm not doing much else physically.

This year I have gotten really into making cocktails. It has been fun, interesting, and exciting. However, this past weekend I pulled out all the bottles I own, and it made me a little sick to think about how much I've spent and how much needs to be consumed. I don't drink to excess, but I really want to cut down on how much I drink. I think it might be affecting my sleep and possibly my weight as well (I've gained about five pounds). On the plus side of all that, I have hardly been even tempted to eat candy ever since March or so.

Hopefully I can update this again within a couple of weeks to give an update on my job status as well as a few of these other issues.

Approaching a new era

 It's the first Sunday in April, and I am overdue to update on how things are going this year. In my last update, I was still coasting on momentum that I attribute partially to the beginning of the year and partially from talking to a girl. I subsequently met with that girl, and she stopped speaking to me afterward, which blew out some of my momentum.

Since J-term, it was mostly a grind until the Philadelphia trip. That trip was little underwhelming, but that's not a bad thing--there weren't any disasters or great frustrations. I was hoping for more interaction with the students, to be honest. They were mostly interested in their phones or friends, though. I did get closer to the teachers, so that was nice.

The first day of break, I helped Jordan build a shelter on his deck. That was an all-day affair. It was a bit sunny but overall quite fun and satisfying. At the weekend we visited Grandpa. On Monday I finished my taxes. Thursday I spread mulch, fixed caulk, and rewired some lights. Friday, I renewed my driver's license. Saturday, I finished assembling two wave models, went out to eat for my birthday, and visited Dad's place of work and got a tour of the factory. Obviously I did a few other things, but those were the highlights. One thing I didn't do but had intended to do was apply for jobs. I did some research, but did not begin filling out any applications.

As far as my resolutions go: I was doing well with Bible reading and prayer until break. Returning to that habit shouldn't be difficult when I'm back on a schedule. I've been using another fitness app called Calistree, and I subscribed to it for a year. It's great. I've used it at least twice a week February and March. A few days I did other types of workouts, like with the track team. I haven't read much more of the Chinese history book. I may have to give it up actually--it makes me think of the girl that I met. Instead I'm continuing to read Desiring God and the book club book (I picked): Snow Crash.

We've only got two more weeks in Spanish in World Languages, and I haven't actively studied it at all. Furthermore, we've canceled our trip to Colombia for the year, so the incentive to improve has significantly diminished. On the other hand, I have been playing my guitar on and off. I eventually ordered replacement strings. The string was really easy to replace. I felt silly for procastinating on it.

These next three months should be interesting. I expect that by 7/1, I will have a new job. I'm going to join a church, too, unless I have reason to suspect that I will be moving for the new job.

Post J-term

In the past week, the madness known as J-term took place. Overall, it was a good experience--much better than last year. Woodworking was great fun. We nearly finished the chairs we were building, and got close enough that we could sit in them. Japanese went smoothly even if it wasn't as exciting or fulfilling. I didn't get anything prepared for the first week of the new semester though, since it was really hectic and I had to prepare something for the next day every day, without having a planning period in which to do it. I slept really heavily all week.

Related to that, my reading has not progressed significantly. I'm still struggling through the BC era of the Chinese history book. Apparently I am 20% finished, but this week I have been skipping entirely or reading just a few pages before falling asleep. I did a lot of driving yesterday and listened to Desiring God for most of the trip. It was so good, I came home and started over reading it on my Kindle. It has all kinds of important reminders, and it also inspired me to return to Jonathan Edwards in the near future.

I only did my fitness routine four times this week, attempting to catch up with work on the other days. Also, yesterday I only did half of a workout because I was shaking--caffeine maybe? Anyway, I have become frustrated with the HabitNest app. It has several bugs, the workouts are too long, and the routines and goals are too randomly generated for my liking. For example, the In and Out Push-up is one of the most difficult exercises I have ever done, but because it is a type of push-up, the goal is 10-20 reps just like the other push-ups. If I do 10, I'm nearly worn out for the day. Well, there is no shortage of fitness apps. I'll do this one until the end of the month and then try a new one.

Reading and praying have continued to go well. Bible memory has continued to be a struggle, but I'm not falling behind. If I up the ante a bit and try to go for 30 verses a day, I think I could meet my goal of starting new verses by February.

No progress on the guitar string. I think I will have some time after school some day this week to go and pick up a replacement. Actually, I need to buy something else from Amazon, so maybe I'll just buy them there. As for Spanish... I'm thinking that I might want to hold off for a month or so until we get most of the way through the French unit in World Languages. That way I'll be less likely to be confused. Regardless, I still haven't developed a plan for that. I expect it will at least partially involve listening to podcasts or watching movies. Maybe I can rope Mom into watching movies or shows with me for some accountability.

First 2024 Check-In

It turns out that journaling on Sunday morning is not as easy as I had hoped. The past two weeks have been somewhat abnormal though. I have made it back to this resolution, although it has turned into afternoon and evening. How am I doing so far?

Reading the Bible and praying has been consistent. Bible memory has been more difficult. I have only gotten over 50 verses one day. Right now I'm averaging 20-30. I'll try to keep over 20 for the next week--at the moment, I don't have a plan to do more. I do it for 10-15 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes or so at night, but when I'm fighting uphill against verses that I can't remember, it goes more slowly.

Bedtime reading has also been satisfactory. Sometimes I have gone straight to sleep, but mostly I have been reading a book surveying Chinese history. It's dry, but I am still in BC. If it doesn't pick up near the end, I just won't buy the second volume. For my other books, I have the book club book, Jonathan Edwards, and I'll probably re-read Desiring God again if I feel inclined to avoid the other options. I have barely read any webfiction since the beginning of the year, and then only my favorite two stories. Fanfiction hasn't had any appeal.

Although I have several gripes with the HabitNest app, I have been using it to good effect. I have been tremendously sore everyday since last Tuesday. I do feel stronger, but I should be stretching more. It's hard to do that when it isn't built in to the routine and I already feel like 30 minutes of exercise is more than I want to spend.

It turned out that the welding class is not available at any community college within driving distance. So, I think I will dedicate some time to regularly studying Spanish. I just made this decision today, so I don't have a plan in place yet. This is not only to help me do a good job teaching World Languages this semester, but also to prepare me for going to Colombia later this year.

I broke a string on the guitar, so I haven't been able to practice recently. Hopefully I'll remember to pick up a replacement sometime this week. No progress has been made on the social front. I'm going to visit Grandpa during Easter vacation, so I think that fills up my travel plans for the year.

Nothing particularly interesting has happened these past two weeks. Last weekend we did have a big book club meeting at Jordan's house. It was fun. However, hanging out with those guys incites me to spend money on alcohol. I really don't need to do that--I certainly can't justify it. In other news, I got all the wood cut yesterday for the J-term woodworking class, and I'm looking forward to that. I guess that is all for this week.

Last Day of 2023

Welcome to the end of 2023. I had no idea that it had been so long since I did any journaling--a full 18 months. I will honestly say that I had high hopes for 2023, but as usual the results were mixed. What did happen?

I finished my first year of full-time classroom teaching. Overall it was a good experience. I began a second year of teaching. I had a few reasons for doing this, but in the end it might be attributed to the sunk cost fallacy. Although, it may not have been a fallacy in this case. I wanted to do a better job with my science teaching, and I wanted to see how the precious students that I student-taught in their 6th grade year matured into wonderful 8th graders. Living conditions and a lack of monetary resources probably played into the decision as well. I would like to find my own place to live, but a single year of saving (after nearly emptying my bank account for grad school) was not nearly enough to satisfy the greed of the gluttonous housing market of 2023. As a result, I moved back in with my parents with the hopes of having better prospects in 2024.

In the summer I worked for a general contractor and learned the basics of several skills, especially cutting tiles for drop-down ceilings. There was more demolition than I like and some awkward interactions with a coworker, but I made it through and maintained a good relationship with my employer. Later in the year, I was called for jury duty and seated, thereby making me miss a crucial week (plus a couple of days) before midterms and Christmas break. It was a very interesting experience though, and I appreciated the variety. Throughout this whole year, Jordan, Cody, and I have had book club meetings. This tradition began last August, with the goal of reading a book that one of the three of us would choose and meeting monthly to discuss it. We started out with fantasy books, but have widened our horizons as none of the fantasy books really impressed us.

My traveling quota was met. At Easter break, Jared and I visited my cousin in Hendersonville. It was a good time, and I had fun hanging out with her and seeing Greenville, SC. In August, the family went to Warm Springs for a cousin's wedding. For Thanksgiving, we went to the Outer Banks, because I had never been before. The most distinctive experiences were climbing to the top of a lighthouse and surfing on sand (it did not work very well, but it was fun to try). Finally, for Christmas we went to visit cousins in the Nashville, TN area. I haven't spent much time with cousins since we all became adults, so it was nice to get to know how they matured. We mostly hung around the house, played games, and watched the children.

As I didn't journal at all last year, I am not exactly sure what my goals were. As always, I know that I intended to do regular exercise. I can say with some confidence that possibly discounting 2018-19, the years of biking and bouldering, I did more exercise than any other year in my adult life. I ran with Jared for about a month before I moved, and after I moved I spent a lot of time doing calisthenics, especially push-ups, chin-ups, squats, and handstands. I did exercises about three times a week from August until Thanksgiving break, and a little bit in the summer (though my job was sometimes physically demanding enough that I excused myself). Before Thanksgiving, I was able to do about five archer push-ups on each side without great effort, which has been a goal of mine for a while.

At a presently indeterminate point that had to be at least a year ago, I had decided that I needed to cook at least two meals a week (unless other circumstances render it unnecessary). I have kept to that commitment faithfully and intend to continue it. The leftovers are consumed more quickly now that I live with the parents, but since Mom also contributes to meals, it has generally worked out well.

Every year I make an effort to dedicate more time to the pursuit of Christ. This past year I feel that I was more successful than in the past. I prayed more consistently and read about half of a year-long devotion book. Waking up early helps this tremendously, and until Thanksgiving break and jury duty threw off my schedule, I was faithful in this. Since the new school year, I have also striven to devote my time on Sunday to the Lord. I have generally been successful at not doing work on Sunday, though my substitute for the work has not always been edifying. In April I began using a new Bible memory website, and for six months I consistently reviewed and studied new verses, for a total of 593 verses. I lost my drive when I missed a few days at the middle school retreat, and then I took a break entirely at Thanksgiving.

Unlike last year, I have many intended goals and habits this year:

1. Reading the Bible - going through the entire OT and the NT twice over the course of the year. I will read through a reading plan in the morning. I anticipate that it will take about 15 minutes a day.
2. Prayer--I am going to use a prayer app to help me stay on task with this. I will do it after reading the Bible.
3. Bible memory - I will review at least 50 verses a day and, once I get caught up on my backlog of verses (hopefully by February), I will begin learning one new verse a day. I usually do this right before getting up in the morning, so the time I spend on it varies based on how long I read and prayed. Generally I spend 10-15 minutes on this though.
4. Reading - At least five days a week, I will go to bed before 9 and read until I get sleepy. I will not touch my phone after 9. My reading choices will be varied, but I plan to have 3-4 options at any time. One of them will probably be Jonathan Edwards, and I will have a book club book (unless I have already finished it). The other two are yet to be determined, but I think I will have a lighter theological book and a historical book.
5. Fitness - For now, I will try using the app Habit Nest to do workouts 5 days a week. These workouts will take place before 8:30 PM, but probably after 7 PM on school days. I will not drink any special drink before I have completed the daily workout. I want to be able to do a handstand more consistently and longer, and I want to be able to do a one-handed push-up. I don't have exact dates for these goals--maybe I will update them later.
6. Learning - between teaching world languages and science, my quota for learning will probably be filled. But I also hope to take a welding course or two in the spring. Other goals will be revisted at the end of the school year in May.
7. Journaling - I am going to start writing a journal entry every Sunday. This should be easy to do in the morning after breakfast, because I usually have a couple of hours before church. I can write not just about the past week but also about what I am reading, what I am learning about in the Bible, and the progression of my prayer life.
8. Work - I will find a new job by the end of August. If it takes me a couple of months, I will probably do some interim work somewhere. I don't foresee that happening, but job hunting has a mercurial temperament.
9. DIY - I have to finish the table for the den by the time I move out. For now, my goal is to have it done by May. I will work on it during the weekend if I don't have welding class. That won't happen until after J-Term though, because I have to finish the adirondack chairs for J-term first.

This may seem like a tall order, but the first five are just slight increases from what I was doing before my routine was disrupted by Thanksgiving break. If I sign up for welding, I will be held accountable, and there is outside pressure to accomplish the work and DIY goals. The journaling is the only completely new habit.

There are other areas that I want to address but I have not mapped out a system by which to do so:

1. Music - I would like to be able to play guitar, piano, or violin. I practiced guitar consistently in the fall when I knew that I would play it at the middle school retreat, but I have only picked it up twice since then. I am afraid that I will need some sort of accountability. Thinking on it, guitar is definitely the most accessible, so unless I come across a reason to change to another instrument, I should stick with it. It would be good to have a regular practice time as a habit and some songs I would like to be able to play well as a goal. I will plan to revisit this after J-term.
2. Social - I need to talk to more people and have relationships with them. One way I can do this is by staying at church, which I should do anyway. However, I need to find other ways to socialize. This also needs a revisit after J-term.
3. Travel - specifically for Easter break. I will go to Philadelphia with the 8th graders in March. I plan to go to Colombia in August. If I can get off from work, the family may go somewhere interesting for Thanksgiving. Otherwise, Easter may be my last chance to travel somewhere for a year, but it will likely be the best time for job hunting as well. At the moment I feel a bit travel-weary, so I will need to come back to this too, probably after J-term.

If some of these goals seem like an excessive overloading of my time, that is intentional. There are several negative habits that I want to avoid, and filling up my time with other things helps me with those. My main two bugbears are video games and wish fulfillment stories, both of which lead to escapism and loathing of reality for me. If I can remember the goals that I have made, the appeal of these distractions will lessen. So there you have it, folks: a bunch of goals and resolutions for the new year. I should be back with updates next week, but if nothing else, I should check back in on January 21st to reconsider the areas of uncertainty.

Entertainment

 I really like the most recent system I came up with for keeping track of my activities. It’s a simple spreadsheet with activity categories in the columns, dates in the rows, and the cells contain activity details. It takes seconds to complete for each activity, and I get a good idea of how much I have invested and how consistent I have been. Quantifying would improve it, and that would not take too much effort I don’t think, but I’m not sure exactly how I would do it so for now I will just leave it as is. Unfortunately, when I started working overtime (at R.S. Johnson), I fell out of the habit of keeping track. That’s mostly because I barely did anything other than work.

This past week I overindulged in Terraria in my free time. I also read a few stories from Royal Road, which is my new go-to entertainment source (replacing fanfiction). I have read several excellent stories on there, the first (and highest-rated) being Mother of Learning. I’m not satisfied, though. “Entertainment” is so unfulfilling, beyond an hour or so. I think that’s partially why people “binge”—to forget how unsatisfied they are. I need to change my approach to address this in a healthy and responsible way. I guess my best option for that is to set a schedule or routine.

Lately I have been feeling a drive to exercise. However, tennis is the only real outlet I would consider, and I just can’t see myself coming home from work at 4 in the afternoon, in the hottest part of the day, and immediately going back out to play. After dinner seems even less likely, but I’ll give it some thought.

I finished sealing the door for Mom and Dad’s cabinet-table today. Home Depot didn’t have the proper hinges in stock when I checked yesterday, so I’m going to pick them up tomorrow on my way over to their house. There I will hopefully install it and it will finally be done! I’ve started thinking about other projects, but between the summer heat, unpredictable working hours, and the looming craziness of the semester’s start, I may be holding off for a while.

In other news, I am feeling disgusted with myself about two things: programming and socializing. Well, the latter is hardly novel, I am just feeling it more keenly this holiday weekend. In programming, I really want to get on with a few projects, but it has been so long since I touched them, and there are resources that I can’t find easily, and it’s just easier to go back to reading or something else fun.

Commitment

 I’m afraid of commitment. I guess that is true, now that I think about it. If I commit to something, I fully intend to follow through with it. On the other hand, that means that I am afraid to get out of my comfort zone because I am afraid that I won’t be able to follow through with anything. Speaking of which—church is one area where I should commit but have not been able to follow through. I might be able to chalk some of that up to the lack of commitment in other areas of my life. Maybe. In summary, I think that it would be a good thing for me to seek out more commitment. If things don’t work out because of other commitments, well, that’s probably still better than being under-committed.

In other news, last week was rough, and to recuperate (or rather, to revert to bad habits, or to seek out consolation in the wrong places), I have gone back to playing the cultivation simulator game. Hopefully the pit will not be as deep this time. I will also make provisions so that I have other things to do in the near future. I will talk to someone about being on the sub list tomorrow. I'll have a few last school-related tasks to take care of as well. Then, my joblessness begins on Thursday.

My goals for this week (Thursday-Saturday) are:

• Some kind of social activity
• Exercise in the morning, or afternoon if it's raining.
• 2+ hours Spring/Java
• 1 hour job search (3 x 20 minute bursts)
• Adjust website to be more professional
• Get website up and running

I think these are reasonable goals. Perhaps they are more modest than they need to be, but I am excited about doing them, and they are working up to full-time job searching that will take place next week.

Back on the clock

 I mentioned last time that I bought a video game but was frustrated by the lack of documentation. Well, I found the documentation and ended up investing three solid weeks of free time in it. Fortunately, I haven't touched it for a week, but I still haven't felt great. I've been back on the old fanfiction train, which never makes me feel good about myself. As of yesterday though, I'm working hard and living life. Part three of edTPA, my big teaching project, was due last night, and I missed the deadline. It was like pulling teeth to even start working on it, but I managed it and did (what I think was) a decent job. I submitted it at 11 AM this morning. Afterward I cleaned up downstairs and vacuumed up most of the hair cloud that covered the floor (from Jared's dog). Now I'm returning to the document that I started last month and mentioned in my last post.

I tried working on programming some this week, but it was frustrating. When I work on my own projects, I run into walls easily. I only have enough momentum to break through a few walls before I run out of steam. Furthermore, without noticeable progress I don’t have much incentive to come back the next day and try again. This past week I was working through a course, the goal of which is certification in a collection of Amazon technologies. So far (about 3 hours in) everything we have done is more system administration and has no connection to programming. I should start applying for computer jobs, but already I feel my confidence sapped. I have made a few more connections in computer programming though.

On a brighter note, I was shown how to make cuts for cabinet doors, so I will be working on that in the near future. I watched a movie last weekend (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) which was related to the Chinese genre I mentioned, and enjoyed it very much. Tonight we may watch another similar film.

Xianxia in real life?

I have one more full day of teaching that I have to do. After that, I hope to take a break from lesson planning and spend that time working on my teaching portfolio. This past week was exhausting. It could have been because I was distracted, but I almost wanted to give up on teaching entirely a couple of times. I have really enjoyed getting to know the students, but the language arts are a frustrating subject to teach, I’ve decided. Even so, I have been pleasantly surprised a few times at how enthusiastically the students attack writing assignments that I give them. In particular, almost all of them seemed to enjoy writing a proposal for a change at the school.

Two years ago, I came home from Japan, and now I’m almost 34 years old. The past two years haven’t been exactly what I had hoped or imagined, but it has certainly been interesting. Last year in particular might have been the most I started off 2020 with the intention of doing challenges to keep myself progressing. That year I read a peculiar book series in a relatively new genre (to western culture) of progression fantasy. I rediscovered that series when I encountered a few Worm crossovers with that series (Cradle), and from there discovered another web novel (Beware of Chicken) which I just finished this morning. After that, I bought a video game called Amazing Cultivation Simulator, which is like Rimworld in the world of Xianxia (the Chinese word for the cultivation/progression fantasy genre). Fortunately, I got too frustrated with the lack of documentation to really get absorbed with playing it. It and the web novel also inspired me to consider my own real life in terms of progression.

One thing I really want to do is keep a record of what I learn and what I try to learn every day. Ideally, I would also like to keep track of the hours I spend on my pursuits, but that would be tedious. I do have some hope of being able to accomplish it, though, now that I have come close to establishing a nightly routine. But first, I think I will start a spreadsheet I update nightly with my weekly activities and my learning foci in each by day. Then, perhaps at the end of the week, I can write a journal entry expanding on them as well as my weekly thoughts. Yes, that seems much more achievable than a daily entry. For instance, this week I memorized Psalm 31:16-24. I would probably write down leisure reading as well, which in this case would be Beware of Chicken, and I might as well list my physical activities also (mostly push-ups). I hope this format will also provoke me to work on new things more deliberately, particularly on the piano/guitar.

A gap year?

I thought about New Year’s Resolutions around Christmas, and then completely forgot about them until yesterday. I don’t think I have done that in a long time, at least not while I’ve been in the US. I still don’t have any at the moment, but I may come up with some in the next few days. Today is going to be a day of reflection and some looking forward. I’ve been sick since Friday, probably with covid, but I won’t know for sure until later this week because I’m just getting the tests done today. We had a long weekend already, and then we had an ice storm on Saturday night that is far from melting. Even if I didn’t have covid and school was in session, my symptoms are noticeable enough that I would be very reluctant to go. All that to say, I decided to log my thoughts for the day, because I’m unusually clear-minded. I was thinking about writing this around the time of my birthday, but chances are good that I will have forgotten by then. So here are my reflections.

I said on my 33^rd birthday that I expected to be able to start my life’s work, like Jesus did. Heh. Obviously, that didn’t work for me, and why should it? God certainly does not have the same plan for me that he did for Jesus. Anyway, by all accounts my 33^rd year (and I think I can project all the way to the end of it) was a gap year. I spent most of it doing electrical work as a complete novice, and though I learned a lot, there hasn’t been any firm progression in terms of titles, certifications, etc. My last raise was at the end of May, to $13/hour, which is probably less than I would make after 90 days at most fast-food places in the current job climate. I enjoyed the work, but I can’t see myself doing it for more than ten years as a full-time job, and the job environment was rather negative (though that could have just been the company I was at). I really liked the hours, the combination of intellectual and manual challenges, and the fact that there was rarely any work outside the job site. Oh, and the tools. I liked the tools, maybe a little too much.

What did I learn in my 33^rd year? I learned that hospital bills are expensive, seemingly never-ending, and to be avoided as much as possible (thanks, kidney stone). I learned that I could live off $13/hour, although having a reasonable living arrangement made it more feasible. Thanks to my job in electrical work, I learned that a consistent sleep routine is highly underrated. I feel so much better when I follow the routine of winding down at 8, start reading by 8:30, and read until 9:30 or I am tired.

In Florida, I learned a lot about trusting in God to be my strength. I listened to two books that challenged me immensely: Desiring God and Knowing God. I think I’ve read the latter before, but it is so dense and expansive that I need to read it a dozen more times at least. Desiring God, though, echoes my conviction about the necessity of God being first in my life at all times, which is also the most difficult practice. I have read the Bible too, and I think that is important, but maybe I am not spiritually mature enough to meditate on it and draw meaning from it alone. I need something else to help me apply it. So, if I were to reflect on my spiritual life of the past year and determine a resolution from it, that resolution would be to be constantly reading a book that addresses my faith in God. With that, I project that the rest (prayer, Bible reading, memorization) will come naturally because it will be in my thoughts.

I have built two tables in the last year, and I am thoroughly convinced that finishing is the most difficult part of woodworking. Maybe next time I will remember to try staining and sealing before assembly and that will make it much easier. The first table (my coffee table) has a very messy finish. I think that if I get an itch to do woodworking in the next couple of months, I might try re-doing the entire tabletop. That’s not likely to happen because Mom already wants me to do a mirror frame as well as a couple of electrical projects at her house, and those take priority.

My original plan for post-student-teaching was to consider a post in teaching if I liked it enough and could find one in an amenable location. Otherwise, I would look for a job in electrical work. Now that my brother is an IT recruiter, though, he has encouraged me to return to looking for programming jobs because they are easy to come by. Honestly, I would feel much better putting another year in electrical work, getting my residential license, and then getting a job as a programming contractor with electrical side jobs. In my life, though, the timing never goes the way I want it, so I think I will just have to seize the opportunity for a programming job if I manage to have one. With that in mind, I plan to do some review on my programming skills while I’m student-teaching. I think that will come after I finish this table, and possibly after I do mom’s playroom lights.

For the past two weeks I’ve been distracted by an idle game. I haven’t spent a ton of time on it like I would an active game, but I’m sure it has consumed way more time than it deserves. Furthermore, I don’t know if it is the guilt or the game itself, but it distracts me from spending time with God (and other worthy pursuits too, most likely). Why do I play stupid games? Because I don’t have enough other tasks to do, or because I feel like I deserve a relaxing activity. Therefore, I need to find something to do that is a relaxing treat, and I need to find something that can always keep me busy. Woodworking could be good for the first, but it tends to overwhelm my living room so that I feel like all my recreational time has to be spent on it. Programming would be a good option for the second, especially if I tell myself that I can spend money on it by taking Udemy courses. That seems like a really good idea, as long as I am discerning in my choice of the courses.

Lewisville update

 At Lewisville today, we received some of our missing can light housings and put them in so that the women’s bathroom and the entrance hall are now fully lit. All we have left are the men’s bathroom and the bathroom vestibule, at least as far as I can tell. I put up an odd type of sconce and put in the other key switch for the bathroom. It still only works to toggle the power on and off regardless of which way it is turned, but I didn’t see another way to do it and Big John apparently gave it his stamp of approval. I wished I could have talked to him about it, though. It was a lot of fun trying to figure out how to make the key switch work the way I thought it should, even though in the end I decided it was impossible.

My weekend started out lousy with most of my Saturday spent on Rimworld. In the evening I went to visit my cousin Greg to see his woodworking shop. The furniture he built was awe-inspiring, and he also cut my wood so that I could continue with my project (after almost six months). Sunday, I spent most of the day on that project, an end table. I learned a lot from working on the end table. First, I discovered that I had been using my random orbit sander in all the wrong ways.

Snapchat and holiness

 I talked to Josh about Snapchat today, how it worked and what kind of content was typically seen on it. It sounds like the new Facebook, which people use to draw attention to themselves. However, it definitely appealed to me to have a ten-second clip of whatever I am working on archived for posterity (i.e. older me). I might look into creating a private account like that, but for now I will use the classic form of journaling, a blog (er… close enough).

Today was possibly my last day at the Lewisville Community Center, at least for a while. We got all the lights working that we had available to us. I did some rewiring of the can lights and installed some whips that will give power to some window blinds by pushing cables through holes that I made yesterday from just above the window up into the soffit and tying them into junction boxes. It was a good day of work.

I’ve been thinking about my future career a lot, as I tend to do when a change approaches. Also, a guy at work who does the data asked me about how I changed careers. Anyway, I have been thinking that I would like to try being a residential electrician. It would be good experience for side jobs, and it would also give me a way to help people. On the other hand, I am more interested in the controls branch of electrical work, which is more the opposite direction. And finally, my interest in programming has been rekindled for no apparent reason. I have yet to actually write any code this year, but I plan to begin as soon as I finish writing.

Also, last night I started reading The Holiness of God by R. C. Sproul. One passage of the Bible that has haunted me for several years and particularly recently is the scene where Isaiah sees God in the temple and cries “Woe is me! For I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips” (Isaiah 6:5). The book addresses this passage in the context of holiness. Examining holiness more closely in this book has elucidated a few mysteries I have pondered about the nature of God.

Relocation

 I’ve been thinking about relocating. For several years now it has been my plan to move to Virginia someday. Today I decided to investigate how to define that plan in more detail. First, I thought about my criteria. I want to be at a reasonable distance from my parents—ninety minutes is sort of my ideal, but I think I could handle up to four hours. I would want to live in a city, or rather on the outskirts of a city, at least as large as Burlington but preferably larger. This would help employment opportunities, meeting people, and general accessibility to goods and services. Ideally, I would have decent access to a larger city as well—within two hours. I wouldn’t want to live in a huge city though, especially not one known for its traffic like Richmond or DC. Neither would I want to live at or near the coast. The housing prices should be reasonable, hopefully similar to what is around here if not cheaper. I would need to find a good local church, but that’s a more advanced step. It might help me narrow down options, though.

With these criteria in mind, I examined Virginia and found it lacking. My recent thoughts have been of Roanoke and Danville, but it turns out that the latter is smaller than Burlington which probably eliminates it. Roanoke is smaller than I expected at 100k and a metropolitan area of 300k—about the size of Greensboro. It’s about 2 hours away from Burlington, which is a bit further than ideal. Also less than ideal is that the nearest large city is Richmond, over 2 hours away. Charlottesville seems like my other option. It’s over three hours from home, but has easy access to Richmond and DC, and makes New England a much more driveable vacation possibility. I enjoyed visiting Charlottesville, and I think I would enjoy living there.

While I have two decent options, I realized that North Carolina is actually much more ideal. If I move half an hour to the east or so, I could potentially work anywhere in the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area. If I move 30-45 minutes to the west, I could work in the Greensboro-High Point-Winston Salem area. Both of these areas have populations of over a million, which easily surpasses my Virginia options. Even Charlotte might have more potential than them.

While an actual employment would weight any decisions heavily, at the moment that’s not really a factor. Actually, I take that back, since I could conceivably move either direction in NC while staying employed at my current company. The problem with that is my lease. Money would also become an issue quickly if my salary doesn’t increase sufficiently. Also, if I’m going to do student teaching in the near future, I would prefer to do it at BCA. Even so, I think I will look into it just to get a feel for the possibilities and perhaps set up a tentative goal.